David Dubrow

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Friday Is a Day of Work

January 16, 2015 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

The holidays, with family visits, school vacations, and all the work that goes along with them, were extraordinary this year, if tiring.  On top of that, my younger brother came in from Europe for a week-long visit; it was the longest we’d spent together in about twenty years, and I cannot wait to see him again.

Despite that, I’m glad to return to my writing desk.  What follows are three micro-reviews of movies my brother and I saw.

  • The Avengers: As I get older, I find myself less and less fetched by superhero films, even ones depicting what used to be my favorite superheroes.  Unfortunately, The Avengers succeeded only in disappointing.  The lack of a central character resulted in a chaotic, plotless mess; Joss Whedon, who can be very occasionally entertaining, failed to bring the story elements together into a comprehensible whole.  All in all, the film was too self-conscious and required that you’d already watched the Thor and Captain America movies before it.  Hawkeye was fun, but under-used, and Black Widow took the typical female Whedon role: an ass-kicking woman smarter than everyone else.  Robert Downey Jr. was great as usual.  Tom Hiddleston was so good as Loki again that it almost made me want to watch Dr. Who.  2 out of 5 stars.
  • Anchorman 2: I loved Anchorman and had middling hopes for the sequel, which were borne out by a series of improv pieces that went on way too long.  There were a few very funny parts, including the musical number, the visit with Veronica and her boyfriend Gary, the first minute of the dinner scene at Linda’s house, and the final battle.  The rest of it just wasn’t terribly funny.  It was clear that on some shoot days, certain actors were more on the ball than others.  For whatever reason, Steve Carell seemed to be phoning it in, and in the scenes with Chani, Kristen Wiig (in her tighty-whiteys) always stole it.  It’s extremely difficult to recapture the magic with an original sequel to an original film, and Anchorman 2 failed.  Still, the funny bits were memorable enough to carry it to 3 stars out of 5.
  • Man of Steel: I really, really wanted to like this film more than I did.  As a mixture of Moses and Jesus, Superman is a transcendent figure, a true super hero sent to Earth to help mankind.  Henry Cavill was excellent: hit all the right notes, looked great, achieved dignity in the blue suit with the red boots.  And yet…it was a mess.  General Zod wasn’t crazy enough to be a true villain; he just seemed like a massive dick.  There was too much Russell Crowe and not enough Kevin Costner.  Amy Adams wasn’t a convincing Lois Lane.  Diane Lane was good, but didn’t get anything interesting to do.  The fight scenes between the Kryptonians and Supes eventually became tiresome.  Krypton, however, seemed like a real place with real people, unlike the Richard Donner Superman film.  Still, it was a Superman movie, so it gets 3 out of 5 stars.  

Usually, I’m a Marvel over DC guy when it comes to superheroes, but Superman beat the Avengers handily.

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Filed Under: anchorman, anchorman 2, comedy, joss whedon isn't that great, man of steel, movie reviews, movies, superhero, superman, the avengers

Movie Review: Oculus

January 12, 2015 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

Oculus was a genuinely scary film that had a heart, characterized by a good script and characters you could relate to.  While there were certain familiar elements that sanded off some of the edges that would have made it a great film, it still delivered on its promise.  Spoiler-free review follows (I only spoil the mediocre films):

  • Tim: While the actor playing young Tim had only one expression (a kind of constipated fear, as though he always had to take a shit but was afraid to for some reason), the older Tim pulled off his role well.  Despite his recent release from a mental facility, he was the reasonable character and had plausible (if wrong, of course) explanations for the bizarre events.  He had the best lines in the film.
  • Kaylie: An extraordinary performance from both the child actor and the older actor.  Obviously unbalanced, obviously holding it together with spit and chewing gum, she made the movie.  The young version inspired pathos and the adult version inspired empathy.  Her OCD style of insanity was believable and reasonable, considering the circumstances.  You didn’t like her, but you understood her.  A fine line.
  • My Eyes Deceive Me: The filmmakers did an excellent job of messing with the viewer’s perceptions, especially near the end of the movie.  There was no way to determine what was real from what wasn’t, despite Kaylie’s best efforts.  The disorientation was unsettling and one of the mirror’s best weapons.
  • Yuck: Oculus earned its R-rating through creative, visceral use of gore.  There were parts I wanted to look away from.  Even when I expected what would happen, I was still grossed out.  Two scenes in particular involving eating were particularly hard.
  • Bros (and Sises) Before ‘Rents: the relationship between brother and sister, especially during the flashback scenes, was very poignant.  As awful as it is, at times a sibling relationship is stronger than a parental one, especially when one or both parents is abusive.  Kaylie and Tim’s bond in the face of their parents’ destruction provided the necessary heart of the film.  

Across the board, Oculus was a very good ghost story, and I’m glad I saw it.  4 out of 5 stars.

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Filed Under: don't eat that apple, ghosts, horror, horror movies, movie reviews, oculus

Book Review: Voiceless by Trent Zelazny

January 7, 2015 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

I found Trent Zelazny through Twitter; people I respected were following him, so I did the same.  His father, Roger Zelazny, was one of my all-time favorite science fiction authors, and I was interested to see what Trent was like.  This candid interview says a great deal about him as both a writer and a man.

Voiceless, available through Kindle Unlimited, is an extraordinary piece of writing.  It’s a disquieting thriller that grabs you by the shirtfront, gets right in your face, and keeps you there, uncomfortable, until it’s done.  Not when you’re done.

The main character, Max, isn’t terribly likable, but you find yourself rooting for him all the same.  Describe him as hapless, call him Mister Milquetoast, but don’t count him out.  Trapped in a bitter, loveless marriage; trapped by circumstance in a town named Broken Dream (with its very own Trash Street, no less); trapped in a house with a terrible past; and trapped in his own head with all its fears and impotence, Max has a feeling of defeat about him, but he isn’t quite pathetic.  There’s a core to him, an essential integrity; it just takes some real nastiness to bring it out.

And nastiness does happen, from petty, cringe-worthy rounds of marital fighting to terrible, life-ending violence.  Nobody emerges unscathed, and several don’t emerge at all.

Trent’s prose is packed with dark, almost hallucinogenic imagery both within Max’s head and without the town of Sueño Roto, making one a haunting mirror image of the other.  When everything comes together in the last quarter of the book, it’s impossible to put down.

Voiceless is a book that stays with you in a way only certain books can.

Five out of five stars.

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Filed Under: book review, thriller, trent zelazny, voiceless

Idaho Shooting: Takeaways

January 5, 2015 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

This is a nasty, dirty, shitty story, one of the absolute worst I’ve heard of in some time, but if we don’t dig into it at least a little bit, we’ll just paper over it and no one will do the hard work of learning anything.

What happened was that Veronica Rutledge left her handgun in her purse where her toddler son could get to it.  Her son got to it and shot Veronica in the head, killing her.  The details are in the link.

The family is, for all intents and purposes, ruined.  I don’t know how you come back from that.  I pray God that they can find comfort in the fullness of time.

Like so many terrible things, it’s bad that it happened, but worse if we don’t learn anything.  As part of that process, take a look at this story; does it ring any bells?  A 9-year-old girl was handed a weapon she couldn’t handle, and as a result her firearms instructor is dead.  Another ruined family.

It’s a mistake to call these “accidental” shootings.  Any time a bullet goes where it isn’t supposed to, it’s because the responsible party was negligent in handling the weapon.  Neither a 9-year-old nor a 2-year-old are responsible parties.  So the responsibility, unfortunately, falls on the victims in these cases.  There are no accidental discharges, only negligent ones.

So how do we learn from this?  What can we take away?

With weapons, familiarity doesn’t breed so much contempt as it does casualness.  This is problematic.  If you’re going to take on the burden of carrying a weapon (which is your God-given, inalienable right), you have to include the whole raft of responsibilities along with it.  It has to be something you think about.  You have to cultivate mindfulness in its presence, because once it turns into just another accessory, you’ve put one foot on the path to negligence.

Hand-flapping about blaming the victim won’t prevent this from happening again, nor will renewed cries for harsher gun laws.  It’s absolutely awful that Veronica Rutledge’s name is in the public eye now.  The only good that can come of it is increased mindfulness: a gun owner’s most valuable tool.

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Filed Under: concealed carry, death, firearms, guns, negligence, self-defense

So What Just Happened?

December 31, 2014 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

Overall, 2014 has been quite an extraordinary year.  Here are a few highlights:

  • My Baby: On March 5, 2014, I published my first novel, The Blessed Man and the Witch.  So far, the few reactions to it have been very positive to fairly positive.  It’s the first book in a trilogy, and I began working on the sequel right after I got feedback from my beta readers.  It’s $2.99 to buy, or you can read it free from Amazon Unlimited.  If you like the pieces I’ve written here, you’ll love the novel.
  • What You Are Reading Now: On March 13, 2014, I started this blog.
  • I Went High-Concept: In June of 2014, I changed the focus of this blog from writing, which nobody other than certain writers want to read about, to other things of interest, including book reviews, movie reviews, personal defense issues, horror in general, and social commentary.
  • Twittin’ It Up: In August of 2014, I joined Twitter.  At times, I wish I hadn’t.  Other times, it’s been an interesting experience.
  • Paying off My Overdue Books: In September 2014, in partnership with the Dunedin Public Library, I began writing a Halloween-themed novella that involved zombies, Lovecraftian horrors, and antediluvian terrors, using local teen volunteers as supporting characters.
  • An Unpronounceable Name: On October 19, 2014, the novella Dreadedin Chronicles: The Nameless City was published.  It’s available for $.99 from Amazon.  
  • Second Place Is Still Losing: In mid-December 2014, my short story Get the Greek: A Chrismukkah Tale was published as the first runner-up in their non-traditional holiday story competition.  Losing sucks, but it’s still a great story.

Here on the blog, I’ve written some short stories.  Here are the links to a few of them; browse through the blog to find more:

  • A Pennsylvania Haunting: A ghost story in three parts.  In Part One, we are introduced to the ghost.  Part Two details the ghost’s malicious mischief, and in Part Three, the ghost story is wrapped up.  Disturbing and graphic at times, especially at the end.
  • Howard Tinkertoy: A man looks through his little boy’s kiddie tablet and his life takes a very sharp turn for the bizarre.
  • In Angels in the IHOP, we sit in on a conversation between celestial beings.
What’s coming next year?  Another short story of mine has been accepted by Liberty Island, to be published in the first quarter of 2015.  I should be done the sequel to The Blessed Man and the Witch by then; I’ll reveal the title when I’m finished the first draft.  A tangential story to Howard Tinkertoy is also on the way.  I may write another Dreadedin Chronicles novella, depending on time constraints.  More movie reviews, more book reviews, more content.  
Thank you for reading!
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Filed Under: horror, short fiction, year in review

Movie Review: The Damned

December 29, 2014 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

The Damned is a mildly entertaining movie that started with an interesting idea and fell promptly into familiar horror film tropes until at the end you didn’t care a lot about what happened to anyone. I’m going to spoil the film, so if you’re really burning to see it and be surprised by its charms, read no further.  I’M WARNING YOU.

  • Family Matters: The screenwriter overcomplicated the family relationships between the characters in a failed attempt to add depth to the story.  Rather than give us something we can hold onto and appreciate, like a father, mother, and child, we have a widower, his fiancee, his adult teenage daughter, his former sister-in-law (the dead wife’s sister), and the former sister-in-law’s colleague who happens to be the adult teenage daughter’s wannabe boyfriend.  There was some strained byplay between these characters, but it never went anywhere.  If you’re going to have tension between characters, you have to give us a side to root for, and this film didn’t.  The characters just weren’t terribly likable.  
  • The Evil That Men Do: The possessing force (the soul of a bruja/witch) can see into your spirit and know what sorts of evils you’ve committed.  From there, she guilts you into feeling worse about them so she can kill you (or force you to kill her so she can possess you.  The rule here is that the witch can only possess the person who’s killed the body she’s in, almost-but-not-quite like like Azazel in Fallen).  It turns out that the people who wind up freeing her just happen to include someone who pulled the plug on his dying wife early (Peter Facinelli) and a guy who uses teenage girls as drug mules, at least one of whom died during the process (Sebastian Martinez).  It seemed too pat, too overt.  I’ve known several pieces of human trash who haven’t killed anyone: they’re just bad people.  I’m sure most of us know some (or are some).  If you want subtlety and complexity, start with human stories we can relate to, not wife murderers and drug dealers.
  • Character Issues: Peter Facinelli was too young-looking for the role.  He did a good job with the material, but he wasn’t convincing as the father of a 19-year-old girl.  The old man was okay, but not menacing enough in the beginning and not tragic enough in his death.  The cop was very good throughout, and his later appearance boosted the film significantly.  I hated to see him go.  The female characters weren’t given enough to do, including the little girl, to make them more than disposable cut-outs.
  • Control Yourself: We learn that the possessing force is a witch, but her only power seems to be to possess people.  She can’t control the weather or do anything else we typically associate with witches (it might have been interesting for her to have implied that she’d somehow created the downpour that sent the hapless characters to her hotel prison).  Fair enough, but the problem was that she just couldn’t keep it together long enough to get to civilization.  She self-sabotaged by having the little girl she’d possessed start acting creepy and dangerous straight off the bat.  If her intent was to get out into the wide world, shouldn’t she have just kept up the little kid act until they took her to the city?  Then she could have found a new person to possess so she could return to get her revenge on the families that were responsible for her imprisonment.
  • Location, Location, Location: There was no reason for this to have been set in Colombia.  They used very little in the way of Colombian culture or language, which was a shame.  With Colombia’s rich myth cycle and folklore to draw from, this could have been a unique story.  It was a missed opportunity.  

Overall, I rate this movie 3 out of 5 stars.  I recommend it, but not strongly.

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Filed Under: colombia, horror, horror movies, movie reviews, movies with one pair of exposed boobs, possession, the damned, witch

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"It began to drizzle rain and he turned on the windshield wipers; they made a great clatter like two idiots clapping in church." --Flannery O'Connor, Wise Blood

"Squop chicken? I never get enough to eat when I eat squop chicken. I told you that when we sat down. You gotta give me that. I told you when we sat down, I said frankly I said this is not my idea of a meal, squop chicken. I'm a big eater." --John O'Hara, BUtterfield 8

I saw the 1977 cartoon The Hobbit as a little boy, and it kindled a love of heroic fantasy that has never left me. Orson Bean's passing is terrible news. Rest in peace.

Obviously, these young people have been poorly served by their parents, but the honest search for practical information should be lauded, not contemned.

You shouldn't look at or use Twitter, and this story is another perfect example. There's so much that's wrong here that it would take a battalion of clergy, philosophers, and psychologists to fully map it out, let alone treat the issue.

This is the advertising copy for Ilana Glazer's stand-up comedy special The Planet Is Burning: "Ilana Glazer‘s debut standup special is trés lol, and turns out - she one funny b. Check out Ilana’s thoughts on partnership, being a successful stoner adult, Nazis, Diva Cups, and more. Hold on to your nuts cuz this hour proves how useless the patriarchy is. For Christ’s sake, The Planet Is Burning, and it’s time a short, queer, hairy New York Jew screams it in your face!" This is written to make you want to watch it.

In the midst of reading books about modern farming, the 6,000 year history of bread, and ancient grains, I found this just-published piece by farmer and scholar Victor Davis Hanson: Remembering the Farming Way.

"I then confront the decreasing power of the movement in order to demonstrate the need for increased theorizations of the reflexive capacities of institutionalized power structures to sustain oppositional education social movements." Yes. Of course.

You should definitely check out Atomickristin's sci-fi story Women in Fridges.

As it turns out, there may yet be some kind of personal cost for attempting to incite a social media mob into violence against a teenage boy you don't know, but decided to hate anyway because reasons.

One of the biggest problems with internet content is that the vast majority of sites don't pay their writers, and it shows in the lack of quality writing. It's hard to find decent writers, and harder to scrape up the cash to pay them. This piece is a shining example of the problem of free content: it's worth what you pay for.

If you're interested in understanding our current cultural insanity, the best primer available is Douglas Murray's The Madness of Crowds. Thoughtful, entertaining, and incisive.

More laws are dumb. More law enforcement is dumb. The only proper response to violence is overwhelming violence. End the assault. There's a rising anti-semitism problem in New York because Jews who act like victims are being victimized by predators. None of these attacks are random. Carry a weapon and practice deploying it under duress. Be alert and aware. I don't understand why the women Tiffany Harris attacked didn't flatten her face into the pavement, but once word gets around that the consequences of violence are grave, the violence will lessen.

When are you assholes going to understand that this stupidity doesn't work any longer? Nobody gives much of a damn if you think we're sexist because we don't want to see a movie you think we should see. It only makes us dislike you that much more, and you started out being an unlikable asshole. Find a new way to shame normal people.

The movie Terms of Endearment still holds up more than 35 years later, and if you're looking for a tearjerker, this is your jam. One element that didn't get a lot of mention is, at the end, when Flap, with a shrug, decides that his mother-in-law will become the mother of his children once Emma dies. He abandons them, and nothing is made of it. This always troubled me.

You need to read this story the next time you feel the urge to complain. And if you need a shot of admiration for another family's courage, check this out.

Progressive political activist and children's author J.K. Rowling finds herself on the wrong side of a mob she helped to create. The Woke Sandwich she's been trying to force-feed others since she earned enough f-you money doesn't taste as good as it looks when she's obliged to take a bite.

I need you to check out The Kohen Chronicles and pray for this family. Their 5-year-old son has cancer.

Currently, the movie Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker stands at 55% at Rotten Tomatoes. Don't forget that these are the same reviewers who not only adored the absolutely execrable The Last Jedi, but insisted that you were a MAGA hat-wearing incel white supremacist manbaby for not loving The Last Jedi. So either The Rise of Skywalker is an objectively bad film, or it simply wasn't woke enough to earn plaudits from our movie-reviewing moral and intellectual betters.

It's easy to hate the older pop bands like Genesis for their popularity, but they were capable of genius, and it shows in No Son of Mine.

If you want to know which identity group has more clout, read this story of the Zola ads on the Hallmark Channel.

Rest in peace, René Auberjonois. I remember you from Benson as a kid. As an adult, I remember you as Janos Audron in the Legacy of Kain video game series. You made every role you were in a classic.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 2:
8-year-old: I wrote the elf a note! I hope he writes back.
Me: What did you write?
8yo: I asked if he has any friends.
Me: What if he says it's none of your business?
8yo: *eyes grow dark and glittering* Then I'll...touch him.
Me: Ah. Mutually assured destruction, then.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 1: My 8-year-old got an Elf on the Shelf the other day. The book it came with tells a story in doggerel about this elf's purpose, which is to spy on the kid and report his doings to Santa Claus, who would then determine if the kid is worthy for Christmas presents this year. The book also said for the kid not to touch him, or the magic would fade, and for the family to give the elf a name. I wanted to name him Stasi. I was outvoted.

Actor Billy Dee Williams calls himself a man or a woman, depending on whim; his character Lando Calrissian is "pansexual," and his writer implies that he'd become intimate with anyone or anything, including, one presumes, a dog, a toaster, or a baby. J.J. Abrams is very concerned about LGBTQ representation in the Star Wars universe. This is Hollywood. This is Star Wars. This is what's important to the people in charge of your cinematic entertainment. Are you not entertained?

The funniest thing on the internet today is the number of people angry over an exercise bike commercial. Public outrage is always funny. Always.

One of the biggest mistakes the United States has ever made since WWII was recruiting for clandestine and federal law enforcement organizations at Ivy League schools. The best talent pools were/are available from local law enforcement and military veterans, with their maturity and, most importantly, field experience. We've been reaping the costs of these terrible decisions for decades, culminating in a hopelessly politicized, sub-competent FBI and CIA.

Watching Fauda seasons 1 and 2 again in preparation for season 3 to be broadcast, one hopes, in early 2020. Here's my back-of-the-matchbook review of season 2.

Every day I try to be grateful for what I have, even in the face of the petty frustrations and troubles that pockmark a day spent outside of one's living room, binge-watching Netflix. We live lives of ease in 21st century America, making it enormously difficult to do anything but take one's countless blessings for granted. Holidays like the just-passed Thanksgiving are helpful reminders. There's a reason why people call the attitude of a thankful heart practicing gratitude, not just feeling grateful. You have to practice it. You have to remind yourself of what you have. It's the work of a lifetime.

Held Back: A Recent Conversation.
8-year-old: Oh, and Jamie was there, too. He was in my first grade class two years ago.
Me: Wasn't he held back a year?
8yo: Yeah. It's because he kept going to the bathroom with the door open.
Me: No way!
8yo: And girls saw.
Me: That's not right. They're not going to hold a kid back a whole year over that.
8yo: Well, that's what he told me.
Me: Sounds fishy.
8yo: I believe him.
~fin~

It's right and good to push a raft of politically correct social justice policies on everything else under the sun, but when social justice invades Hollywood, that's just a bridge too far, says Terry Gilliam. Sorry, Terry: you helped make this sandwich. EAT IT.

Rob Henderson's piece on luxury beliefs will have you nodding your head over and over again...unless you subscribe to these luxury beliefs, in which case you'll get mad.

I've made the Saturday bread from Flour Water Salt Yeast so often that I've memorized the recipe. It never disappoints. Never. The same recipe works well for pizza, too.

Liberty doesn't mean the freedom to do anything you want. The true definition of liberty is the ability to choose the good. Anything less is libertinism.

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