David Dubrow

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The Exorcist: S1 E2 Review

October 5, 2016 by David Dubrow 1 Comment

geena1exThis episode was more focused than the first, though what it showed us doesn’t bode well, thematically speaking. We’re moving away from the source material and heading toward tired, well-trodden ground. Spoilers await below.

In the film version of The Exorcist, the Catholic Church was a force for good. Brendan Stewart says of it, “Even more unusual for a horror film, or any film made after the 1950s, is that the good is represented unambiguously by the Catholic Church. There’s no ironic detachment, no Christian bashing.” This is clearly not the case in the television show. The unappealing papal ambassador describes the Pope thusly, when arranging for his arrival: “Poverty, humility, be nicer to the gays.” Why the last part? It’s a nudge-nudge wink-wink to the audience to tell us that we all know that the Catholic Church is super mean to the gays, you guys. Catholics are, according to TV’s The Exorcist, homophobes.

Not only are Catholics homophobes, but they also buy children from foster homes to be used as exorcists in training, according to Father Marcus’s story. So they’re slavers, too. If an exorcism is such a horrible, grueling, risky experience for both priest and possessed, why have a child attempt it alone, in a dark basement? It made no sense.

benex1Father Marcus says of the Bible, “Most of the words in here are man’s words, not God’s.” This gets to the heart of the problem with the show: they’re secularizing the source material. Which parts, exactly, are God’s words, then? And why didn’t those words work on the possessed homeless lady on the street? Which Biblical scholar in the production crew decided the difference between man’s and God’s words?

Talking about differences, what’s the difference between Father Marcus and Dean Winchester of Supernatural? Both have been trained since childhood to fight demons, and have literally nothing else in their lives. Both talk about demons in combative terms, using devices like holy water and crosses as weapons. When Marcus tells Tomas to break it off with Jessica, he doesn’t couch it in terms of saving his soul or upholding his priestly vows, but because it might make him vulnerable in combat with a demon. Marcus isn’t a priest, but a hunter, and we’ve seen that show before.

Father Marcus is a Catholic priest. Father Tomas is a Catholic priest. The Rance family is Catholic. But the show has an obvious animus toward the Catholic Church. It’s a stupid, unnecessary conflict that reflects the Hollywood mindset, not adherence to the subject matter.

I liked the schizos with the coolers walking into the Tattersall truck; and it’s clear that the demons are massing because of the Pope’s imminent arrival. Why don’t the posters advertising the Pope’s visit show the Supreme Pontiff’s face? I’d hate to think that the avuncular-yet-sinister externalization of the demon in Casey is being set up as the Pope, but who knows?

One question: If Casey is sickened by drinking holy water, how is it that she can stand being inside a church?

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: horror, possession, religion, review, television, the exorcist

Let’s Bring Objective Morality Back to Horror

October 3, 2016 by David Dubrow 3 Comments

sas-dub-3On the terrific website Scifi and Scary, I wrote a guest post on God and supernatural horror:

Supernatural horror has turned away from its roots, replacing the traditional battle of Good vs. Evil with Us vs. Evil. In large part this is reflective of cultural trends; mainstream writers and movie makers tend to take their thematic cues from the less-religious metropolitan areas of the East and West Coasts, which drive culture more than flyover country. The replacement of an objective power of Good with expedience, the need to survive, has dulled the effectiveness of the genre of supernatural horror, reducing vampires to fanged superhumans and Hell-born demons to savage mutants.

Read the rest at Scifi and Scary!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: demons, horror, me me me, religion, vampires

The Exorcist: S1 E1 Review

September 27, 2016 by David Dubrow 3 Comments

exorcist-tv-posterIt’s impossible not to compare Fox’s The Exorcist TV show to William Peter Blatty’s novel or William Friedkin’s movie at least a little bit, which is a problem; showrunner Jeremy Slater has massive shoes to fill, and the program is going to fall short no matter what. The Exorcist in print and film have simply cast too great a shadow across the horror genre to be redone on any level.

Nevertheless, the show is making a decent run at it. Not great, but decent. Try to look at it on its own merits. Spoilers await below.

Pleasantly, this is not a reboot. A reference to the MacNeils’ travails with Pazuzu decades ago is made clear, so we can consider the show a sequel, of sorts (and not like the execrable Exorcist 2: The Heretic).

As for the cast, everyone did as fine a job as possible, given their material. Alfonso Herrera as Father Tomas was suitably confused, frustrated, and frightened; Ben Daniels as Father Marcus was the proper take-no-prisoners, knows-more-than-he’s-letting-on exorcism veteran; and Geena Davis was aging, uncomfortable, and unhappy as the lady of the house who thinks her daughter may be possessed by a demon. Not a demonic spirit, mind, but a demon. There’s a difference: a garden-variety, non-denominational ghost can be a demonic spirit, but a demon comes from Hell, and must be exorcised by a servant of God. A priest.

What’s lacking in the show are the stakes. We didn’t see enough of the Rance family to care about them, let alone like them. That may come in time, but without seeing something to be outraged by, perpetrated upon this nice, innocent Catholic family, who cares about what happens to them?

We know demons are evil; it’s one of the things that makes them demons. So the flashbacks of Father Marcus trying to save the kid in Mexico and failing don’t quite cut it. They killed a kid. That’s horrible. But so what? And when you consider that Father Marcus was acting against the wishes of the Vatican in his exorcism technique, it can be reasonably implied that the kid’s death was, in part, his fault. Are the writers going to go anywhere with that?

I liked Marcus’s references to “they” when talking about the demons; there’s an implication of a broader plot, which would up the stakes and make us care some more. The effects were creepy when necessary, and there’s a general sense of dread throughout.

This is a program I really want to like, so I’m hoping it gets better in subsequent episodes. The start is flawed but promising. Bring us more darkness, more horror, more pathos. Make us feel something.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: horror, the exorcist, tv

Back to School Sale: A Post-Mortem

September 20, 2016 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

Overall, my Armageddon Back to School Sale met my modest sales goals, so I can’t complain. It didn’t do as well as my earlier giveaway, but the reasons are clear:

  1. Despite the concept of perceived value, where people expect to pay more for things that they consider of higher quality, readers will almost always download a free book, given the opportunity. The risk and effort are amazingly low: just a few clicks and you’ve got a book. Most people who download free books rarely read them; they download them just to have them. A person who buys something typically intends to do something with it. So it’s kind of an apples-to-oranges comparison anyway.
  2. In addition to Ereader News Today, I advertised the sale with a few less well-known book marketing services. The smaller services didn’t perform and I won’t use them again. The most success I’ve had was with Book Barbarian (reserve your spot way in advance), Ereader News Today, and Books Butterfly. I was rejected for BookBub again, but that’s okay: I kind of expected it. I’ll get there eventually.

Because money’s changed hands, I won’t give away sales figures here; I’m old fashioned like that. I will say that I sold more of The Nephilim and the False Prophet when I gave away The Blessed Man and the Witch than I did just offering each book for $0.99. So 1st Book Free + 2nd Book Regular Price was greater than 1st Book Cheap + 2nd Book Cheap.

My friends, colleagues, and associates on social media were very kind in Retweeting, Sharing, and Liking my book sale post. Thanks very much to Holly Evans and Jason Berry, who’ve always been very supportive (even if they don’t like all of my stuff!).

Special thanks to Chris Barnes, the owner and publisher of The Slaughtered Bird, who was kind enough to spread the word about the sale.

Thanks also to fellow authors R.M. Huffman, Ross Greenwood, Gerri Bowen, Israel Finn, Olivia Stanton, Isaac Thorne, and Iain Rob Wright for their Retweets.

And, last but not least, thanks to John’s Horror Corner, Chris (Movie Corner), Damnation Ave, Kreepazoid Kelly, Indie Undead!, Dave B, Hardcore Horror, and Horror by Proxy. It may be just a click of the mouse to you, but it means a lot to me.

If I’ve forgotten anyone, you have my deepest apologies. This includes my Facebook friends who were likely most kind and spread the word on Zuckerberg’s Social Experiment.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: blessed man and the witch, horror, me me me, nephilim and the false prophet, sales, writing

Armageddon Back to School Sale!

September 16, 2016 by David Dubrow 1 Comment

For many of us, going back to school after a long summer vacation seems like the end of the world. Whether you feel that way or not, you can at least get in a good, inexpensive read to ease the pain with my Armageddon Back to School Sale!

From Friday, September 16 through Sunday, September 18, my novels The Blessed Man and the Witch and its sequel The Nephilim and the False Prophet are on sale for $0.99 each! That’s only $1.98 for an occult horror series that has been called a “dystopian roller coaster,” “a story that could VERY WELL and truly can happen at any given moment,” and “Written in such a way that you get a very vivid and intricate picture in your head of the locations and the beings in them.”

sept-sale-both-2

Get your copies today – supplies are running out!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: blessed man and the witch, horror, me me me, nephilim and the false prophet, sale

The Nephilim and the False Prophet: An Excerpt

September 14, 2016 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

Nephilim SmlWhat follows is an excerpt from the second book in my Armageddon series, The Nephilim and the False Prophet. You won’t find it in the Look Inside feature of the Amazon product page; this chapter is from later in the novel, when Bill learns the price of denial. If you haven’t read the first book in the Armageddon series, The Blessed Man and the Witch yet, you may want to hold off on reading this.

 

Chapter 15: Bill — Teamwork

     The latest in the longest string of baseless lawsuits ever brought to a courtroom by the hardest-working ambulance chaser in Los Angeles has been put on hold by a judge yesterday in L.A. County’s Superior Court of California. The butt of all the worst lawyer jokes you’ve ever heard, George Smolla, is suing every company that has ever used the Happy Guy logo on any piece of clothing, artwork, or other paraphernalia, digital or physical. His client claims to have drawn the symbol ten years ago in her basement, which makes it an open-and-shit case (no, that’s not a typo). It’s pretty much impossible to find a place that doesn’t have the Happy Guy splattered somewhere, so basically he’s suing the entire world. If Smolla can get a settlement on a nuisance case from someone with deep pockets, more power to him…

    You’ve Been Oversued Blog, 10/02/2016

“Come on, grandma. At least drive the speed limit,” Bill muttered. All he could see through the rear windshield of the car ahead were knuckles on the steering wheel and fluffy white hair peeking above the headrest.

What is it about COEXIST bumper stickers that make people think they can drive like assholes? Figures it’s not a Happy Guy sticker. Grandma here doesn’t qualify—

His phone rattled in the center console.

“Hey, Mo,” he answered.

“How’s it going? You still at the office?” Maureen asked.

Bill had to slow down even more when the old lady started riding the brake. “On my way home. Just gotta get gas.”

“Okay, cool. How’d it go today?”

With a humorless chuckle he said, “Great. None of the fumblefucks shot themselves or anyone else, so we’re playing with house money. Most of ‘em didn’t really hit the target either, but Homeland Security’s not about accuracy. Just there to get the participation certificate, and then right back to sniffing panties at bus stops on the government tit. Another standard work day.”

A brief pause. “I guess I’m glad I didn’t put the phone on speaker,” Maureen said dryly. “Jonah’d learn all sorts of new words.”

“How’s my little man doing?”

“Good. He’s had a good pain day, actually.”

Nodding, Bill said, “Good deal.” Fucking stigmata. Thanks for that, Heck. Thanks, Blessed Man, wherever you are. “I’ll try to be home by his bedtime. He watching Doc McStuffins?”

Maureen snorted into the phone. “What else? He wants to see the Nice Man.”

“Still fixated on that, huh.”

“Well…” Maureen said, drawing the word out, “I think he sees the dad as a TV version of you. Sort of.”

Putting a smile into his voice, Bill replied, “Kind of a stretch, seeing that I’m an old white man and Doc’s dad is a black guy, but sure, I can see that.”

“Maybe he misses Tim, then.”

He’s not the only one. Thanks for that too, Heck. “Could be,” he said, took a deep breath to settle himself, and added, “Anyway, I’ll be home in a few minutes. If the world don’t end before I get there.”

“Har de har har. See you soon.”

“Yup. Bye.” He hung up and hit the turn signal when he saw the green 7-11 sign. Even though they irritated her, his end-of-the-world jokes had become habitual since the Occupy Riots. She still believes in that Armageddon crap, even though it was all bullshit. The world’s still turning. A little more fucked up, but still—

[Read more…]

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: demons, horror, me me me, nephilim and the false prophet

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"It began to drizzle rain and he turned on the windshield wipers; they made a great clatter like two idiots clapping in church." --Flannery O'Connor, Wise Blood

"Squop chicken? I never get enough to eat when I eat squop chicken. I told you that when we sat down. You gotta give me that. I told you when we sat down, I said frankly I said this is not my idea of a meal, squop chicken. I'm a big eater." --John O'Hara, BUtterfield 8

I saw the 1977 cartoon The Hobbit as a little boy, and it kindled a love of heroic fantasy that has never left me. Orson Bean's passing is terrible news. Rest in peace.

Obviously, these young people have been poorly served by their parents, but the honest search for practical information should be lauded, not contemned.

You shouldn't look at or use Twitter, and this story is another perfect example. There's so much that's wrong here that it would take a battalion of clergy, philosophers, and psychologists to fully map it out, let alone treat the issue.

This is the advertising copy for Ilana Glazer's stand-up comedy special The Planet Is Burning: "Ilana Glazer‘s debut standup special is trés lol, and turns out - she one funny b. Check out Ilana’s thoughts on partnership, being a successful stoner adult, Nazis, Diva Cups, and more. Hold on to your nuts cuz this hour proves how useless the patriarchy is. For Christ’s sake, The Planet Is Burning, and it’s time a short, queer, hairy New York Jew screams it in your face!" This is written to make you want to watch it.

In the midst of reading books about modern farming, the 6,000 year history of bread, and ancient grains, I found this just-published piece by farmer and scholar Victor Davis Hanson: Remembering the Farming Way.

"I then confront the decreasing power of the movement in order to demonstrate the need for increased theorizations of the reflexive capacities of institutionalized power structures to sustain oppositional education social movements." Yes. Of course.

You should definitely check out Atomickristin's sci-fi story Women in Fridges.

As it turns out, there may yet be some kind of personal cost for attempting to incite a social media mob into violence against a teenage boy you don't know, but decided to hate anyway because reasons.

One of the biggest problems with internet content is that the vast majority of sites don't pay their writers, and it shows in the lack of quality writing. It's hard to find decent writers, and harder to scrape up the cash to pay them. This piece is a shining example of the problem of free content: it's worth what you pay for.

If you're interested in understanding our current cultural insanity, the best primer available is Douglas Murray's The Madness of Crowds. Thoughtful, entertaining, and incisive.

More laws are dumb. More law enforcement is dumb. The only proper response to violence is overwhelming violence. End the assault. There's a rising anti-semitism problem in New York because Jews who act like victims are being victimized by predators. None of these attacks are random. Carry a weapon and practice deploying it under duress. Be alert and aware. I don't understand why the women Tiffany Harris attacked didn't flatten her face into the pavement, but once word gets around that the consequences of violence are grave, the violence will lessen.

When are you assholes going to understand that this stupidity doesn't work any longer? Nobody gives much of a damn if you think we're sexist because we don't want to see a movie you think we should see. It only makes us dislike you that much more, and you started out being an unlikable asshole. Find a new way to shame normal people.

The movie Terms of Endearment still holds up more than 35 years later, and if you're looking for a tearjerker, this is your jam. One element that didn't get a lot of mention is, at the end, when Flap, with a shrug, decides that his mother-in-law will become the mother of his children once Emma dies. He abandons them, and nothing is made of it. This always troubled me.

You need to read this story the next time you feel the urge to complain. And if you need a shot of admiration for another family's courage, check this out.

Progressive political activist and children's author J.K. Rowling finds herself on the wrong side of a mob she helped to create. The Woke Sandwich she's been trying to force-feed others since she earned enough f-you money doesn't taste as good as it looks when she's obliged to take a bite.

I need you to check out The Kohen Chronicles and pray for this family. Their 5-year-old son has cancer.

Currently, the movie Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker stands at 55% at Rotten Tomatoes. Don't forget that these are the same reviewers who not only adored the absolutely execrable The Last Jedi, but insisted that you were a MAGA hat-wearing incel white supremacist manbaby for not loving The Last Jedi. So either The Rise of Skywalker is an objectively bad film, or it simply wasn't woke enough to earn plaudits from our movie-reviewing moral and intellectual betters.

It's easy to hate the older pop bands like Genesis for their popularity, but they were capable of genius, and it shows in No Son of Mine.

If you want to know which identity group has more clout, read this story of the Zola ads on the Hallmark Channel.

Rest in peace, René Auberjonois. I remember you from Benson as a kid. As an adult, I remember you as Janos Audron in the Legacy of Kain video game series. You made every role you were in a classic.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 2:
8-year-old: I wrote the elf a note! I hope he writes back.
Me: What did you write?
8yo: I asked if he has any friends.
Me: What if he says it's none of your business?
8yo: *eyes grow dark and glittering* Then I'll...touch him.
Me: Ah. Mutually assured destruction, then.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 1: My 8-year-old got an Elf on the Shelf the other day. The book it came with tells a story in doggerel about this elf's purpose, which is to spy on the kid and report his doings to Santa Claus, who would then determine if the kid is worthy for Christmas presents this year. The book also said for the kid not to touch him, or the magic would fade, and for the family to give the elf a name. I wanted to name him Stasi. I was outvoted.

Actor Billy Dee Williams calls himself a man or a woman, depending on whim; his character Lando Calrissian is "pansexual," and his writer implies that he'd become intimate with anyone or anything, including, one presumes, a dog, a toaster, or a baby. J.J. Abrams is very concerned about LGBTQ representation in the Star Wars universe. This is Hollywood. This is Star Wars. This is what's important to the people in charge of your cinematic entertainment. Are you not entertained?

The funniest thing on the internet today is the number of people angry over an exercise bike commercial. Public outrage is always funny. Always.

One of the biggest mistakes the United States has ever made since WWII was recruiting for clandestine and federal law enforcement organizations at Ivy League schools. The best talent pools were/are available from local law enforcement and military veterans, with their maturity and, most importantly, field experience. We've been reaping the costs of these terrible decisions for decades, culminating in a hopelessly politicized, sub-competent FBI and CIA.

Watching Fauda seasons 1 and 2 again in preparation for season 3 to be broadcast, one hopes, in early 2020. Here's my back-of-the-matchbook review of season 2.

Every day I try to be grateful for what I have, even in the face of the petty frustrations and troubles that pockmark a day spent outside of one's living room, binge-watching Netflix. We live lives of ease in 21st century America, making it enormously difficult to do anything but take one's countless blessings for granted. Holidays like the just-passed Thanksgiving are helpful reminders. There's a reason why people call the attitude of a thankful heart practicing gratitude, not just feeling grateful. You have to practice it. You have to remind yourself of what you have. It's the work of a lifetime.

Held Back: A Recent Conversation.
8-year-old: Oh, and Jamie was there, too. He was in my first grade class two years ago.
Me: Wasn't he held back a year?
8yo: Yeah. It's because he kept going to the bathroom with the door open.
Me: No way!
8yo: And girls saw.
Me: That's not right. They're not going to hold a kid back a whole year over that.
8yo: Well, that's what he told me.
Me: Sounds fishy.
8yo: I believe him.
~fin~

It's right and good to push a raft of politically correct social justice policies on everything else under the sun, but when social justice invades Hollywood, that's just a bridge too far, says Terry Gilliam. Sorry, Terry: you helped make this sandwich. EAT IT.

Rob Henderson's piece on luxury beliefs will have you nodding your head over and over again...unless you subscribe to these luxury beliefs, in which case you'll get mad.

I've made the Saturday bread from Flour Water Salt Yeast so often that I've memorized the recipe. It never disappoints. Never. The same recipe works well for pizza, too.

Liberty doesn't mean the freedom to do anything you want. The true definition of liberty is the ability to choose the good. Anything less is libertinism.

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