David Dubrow

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      • The Blessed Man and the Witch
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Atmo HorroX Cards

April 18, 2017 by David Dubrow 2 Comments

In July of 2016, I reviewed the movie Atmo HorroX for The Slaughtered Bird, and said of it:

To describe the film is to destroy it, like cutting open a living creature to determine why it’s alive. The movie unfolds in its own pace, granting you its narrative in pieces that do come together, eventually, but only if you sit down and watch it. Which isn’t difficult, because there are parts that you simply cannot turn away from.

I liked the film so much that I rated it as my favorite movie of 2016.

The writer and director of Atmo HorroX, Pat Tremblay, liked that I liked his film so much, and sent me some Atmo HorroX trading cards through the mail. They’re extraordinary. I keep them at my desk so I can see them whenever I sit down to write.

My Atmo HorroX poker hand, as it were. Note Laurent Lecompte’s autograph; he played the unforgettable Catafuse.

 

Catafuse in morbid nostalgia mode.

Pat Tremblay autographed one card himself, and added a message that would only make sense if you watched the movie. Which you should, because it’s an experience like none other. It was most kind of Pat to send the cards along, and I hope he understands how much I prize them. Thank you, Pat!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: atmo horrox, horror, me me me, pat tremblay

Beneath the Ziggurat: Alternate Cover

February 13, 2017 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

My younger brother enjoyed my Kindle Single Beneath the Ziggurat so much that he was inspired to craft a new cover, featuring a well-known character that he says resembles a figure from the story’s climax.

While it’s missing David Angsten‘s wonderful blurb, this new cover does tell you the price up front, which is a powerful sales tool. Once my legal representation has gotten permission from Nickelodeon to use their copyrighted character, I look forward to changing the cover to this new image.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: beneath the ziggurat, horror, humor, me me me, short fiction

The Ultimate Guide to Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse: Revised and Updated

December 27, 2016 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

In late October of this year I reacquired the rights to my book The Ultimate Guide to Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse. Since then I’ve been working day and night to republish it in a revised and updated edition, featuring new illustrations and a new chapter on surviving the worst of the worst-case scenario: surviving a Zombie Apocalypse in a big city like Atlanta or Chicago.

I’m proud to announce that this new version is available in paperback from Amazon, just in time for you to purchase with all that Christmas money burning a hole in your virtual pocket!

Let’s face it: most of us are not prepared to face a basic disaster survival situation, let alone a zombie uprising. What are you going to do when all the trappings of civilization are ripped away by rotting, undead hands? During a Zombie Apocalypse, the electricity stops running, water stops flowing from the tap, and the rule of law becomes the Law of the Jungle. Hordes of ravenous, cannibalistic ghouls roam the streets, seeking human flesh. It would be a miracle if you survive the first night, let alone a month. Your life expectancy has just dropped to next winter…if you’re lucky.

That’s where this book comes in. It provides you with not just the information you need to survive the coming Zombie Apocalypse, but the confidence such knowledge brings. After reading this book, you will learn:

  • The different classifications of zombies, along with their strengths and weaknesses
  • How to cope with the overall zombie-caused breakdown of society
  • Combat-proven zombie-fighting tactics and techniques
  • How to find food, water, and shelter in a zombie-overrun world
  • Skills for surviving other apocalyptic dangers, including rogue government agencies, zombie animals, and other humans competing for scarce resources
  • How to prepare a Zombie Bug-Out Bag to get you through that critical first week of the Zombie Apocalypse

And so much more!

Do you really want to be the only person on your block completely unprepared for the coming Zombie Apocalypse, or do you want to take your fate in your own two hands and not only survive, but thrive in a post-apocalyptic world filled with cannibalistic undead? Pick up your copy today!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: horror, me me me, survival, ultimate guide to surviving a zombie apocalypse, zombies

2016 in Review: Top Five Movies

December 19, 2016 by David Dubrow 2 Comments

Through my association with The Slaughtered Bird I’ve watched more movies this year than last, particularly independent films. Some have been great, some middling, some terrible. A few have been real stand-outs, either through overall quality, or because I just liked them better. Even trashy films can be awesome. Here’s my list of the top five movies I’ve seen in 2016:

  • 5. The Invitation: A prime example of a film that’s not great, but one I quite enjoyed. Yes, some of it was silly in parts, but it had an overall, apocalyptic concept that tied it together and made it memorable.
  • 4. He Never Died: It’s usually a very good idea to avoid Henry Rollins in any guise, but in this movie he shone as an enigmatic, bizarre character in a  brutal, hyper-violent story that’s got several laughs and plenty of blood.
  • 3. Little Boy: It’s rare to see magical realism done right in any medium, but this film pulled it off. A poignant, if not terribly thoughtful movie about faith, family, and friendship that hits all the right notes.
  • 2. Der Bunker: Hysterically funny despite the subtitles, it’s a German film that also focuses on childhood and family, though with a much more bizarre set of circumstances. Weird, but relatable.
  • 1. Atmo Horrox: A film that’s so bizarre, so surreal, that it defies description. How can I describe the galumphing Catafuse, the french fry bucket, the horrible ghoul chasing the family man in a way that makes sense? I’m as surprised as you are that it’s my favorite film of the year, but when I sat down and thought about this list, Atmo Horrox topped it without effort. You’ve never seen anything quite like it.

I hope to have my Top 5 Books list ready by the end of the week.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: atmo horrox, der bunker, he never died, little boy, me me me, movie review, the invitation

Get the Greek: Free December 9 – 12!

December 9, 2016 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

My Kindle Single Get the Greek: A Chrismukkah Tale is free on Amazon from December 9 through December 12!

A perfect story to ease you the rest of the way through the holiday season, whether you trim a tree, light a menorah, or both. Click to get your free copy today!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: get the greek, giveaway, me me me, short fiction

Uncaged Book Reviews – December 2016 Edition

December 5, 2016 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

Nephilim SmlWriter Amy Shannon was kind enough to read and review The Nephilim and the False Prophet on her website:

It’s not a typical end of humanity paranormal or even supernatural story. It’s explosive, full of action and there are some Biblical references, but it tells its own story, and the reader is brought right in, wondering if the end is truly near.

This review and several others were picked up for publication in the December issue of Uncaged Magazine. Click to read interviews and book reviews of other titles you might find worth your while!

(After you’ve picked up your copy of The Nephilim and the False Prophet, of course.)

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: book review, me me me, nephilim and the false prophet, review, uncaged

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"It began to drizzle rain and he turned on the windshield wipers; they made a great clatter like two idiots clapping in church." --Flannery O'Connor, Wise Blood

"Squop chicken? I never get enough to eat when I eat squop chicken. I told you that when we sat down. You gotta give me that. I told you when we sat down, I said frankly I said this is not my idea of a meal, squop chicken. I'm a big eater." --John O'Hara, BUtterfield 8

I saw the 1977 cartoon The Hobbit as a little boy, and it kindled a love of heroic fantasy that has never left me. Orson Bean's passing is terrible news. Rest in peace.

Obviously, these young people have been poorly served by their parents, but the honest search for practical information should be lauded, not contemned.

You shouldn't look at or use Twitter, and this story is another perfect example. There's so much that's wrong here that it would take a battalion of clergy, philosophers, and psychologists to fully map it out, let alone treat the issue.

This is the advertising copy for Ilana Glazer's stand-up comedy special The Planet Is Burning: "Ilana Glazer‘s debut standup special is trés lol, and turns out - she one funny b. Check out Ilana’s thoughts on partnership, being a successful stoner adult, Nazis, Diva Cups, and more. Hold on to your nuts cuz this hour proves how useless the patriarchy is. For Christ’s sake, The Planet Is Burning, and it’s time a short, queer, hairy New York Jew screams it in your face!" This is written to make you want to watch it.

In the midst of reading books about modern farming, the 6,000 year history of bread, and ancient grains, I found this just-published piece by farmer and scholar Victor Davis Hanson: Remembering the Farming Way.

"I then confront the decreasing power of the movement in order to demonstrate the need for increased theorizations of the reflexive capacities of institutionalized power structures to sustain oppositional education social movements." Yes. Of course.

You should definitely check out Atomickristin's sci-fi story Women in Fridges.

As it turns out, there may yet be some kind of personal cost for attempting to incite a social media mob into violence against a teenage boy you don't know, but decided to hate anyway because reasons.

One of the biggest problems with internet content is that the vast majority of sites don't pay their writers, and it shows in the lack of quality writing. It's hard to find decent writers, and harder to scrape up the cash to pay them. This piece is a shining example of the problem of free content: it's worth what you pay for.

If you're interested in understanding our current cultural insanity, the best primer available is Douglas Murray's The Madness of Crowds. Thoughtful, entertaining, and incisive.

More laws are dumb. More law enforcement is dumb. The only proper response to violence is overwhelming violence. End the assault. There's a rising anti-semitism problem in New York because Jews who act like victims are being victimized by predators. None of these attacks are random. Carry a weapon and practice deploying it under duress. Be alert and aware. I don't understand why the women Tiffany Harris attacked didn't flatten her face into the pavement, but once word gets around that the consequences of violence are grave, the violence will lessen.

When are you assholes going to understand that this stupidity doesn't work any longer? Nobody gives much of a damn if you think we're sexist because we don't want to see a movie you think we should see. It only makes us dislike you that much more, and you started out being an unlikable asshole. Find a new way to shame normal people.

The movie Terms of Endearment still holds up more than 35 years later, and if you're looking for a tearjerker, this is your jam. One element that didn't get a lot of mention is, at the end, when Flap, with a shrug, decides that his mother-in-law will become the mother of his children once Emma dies. He abandons them, and nothing is made of it. This always troubled me.

You need to read this story the next time you feel the urge to complain. And if you need a shot of admiration for another family's courage, check this out.

Progressive political activist and children's author J.K. Rowling finds herself on the wrong side of a mob she helped to create. The Woke Sandwich she's been trying to force-feed others since she earned enough f-you money doesn't taste as good as it looks when she's obliged to take a bite.

I need you to check out The Kohen Chronicles and pray for this family. Their 5-year-old son has cancer.

Currently, the movie Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker stands at 55% at Rotten Tomatoes. Don't forget that these are the same reviewers who not only adored the absolutely execrable The Last Jedi, but insisted that you were a MAGA hat-wearing incel white supremacist manbaby for not loving The Last Jedi. So either The Rise of Skywalker is an objectively bad film, or it simply wasn't woke enough to earn plaudits from our movie-reviewing moral and intellectual betters.

It's easy to hate the older pop bands like Genesis for their popularity, but they were capable of genius, and it shows in No Son of Mine.

If you want to know which identity group has more clout, read this story of the Zola ads on the Hallmark Channel.

Rest in peace, René Auberjonois. I remember you from Benson as a kid. As an adult, I remember you as Janos Audron in the Legacy of Kain video game series. You made every role you were in a classic.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 2:
8-year-old: I wrote the elf a note! I hope he writes back.
Me: What did you write?
8yo: I asked if he has any friends.
Me: What if he says it's none of your business?
8yo: *eyes grow dark and glittering* Then I'll...touch him.
Me: Ah. Mutually assured destruction, then.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 1: My 8-year-old got an Elf on the Shelf the other day. The book it came with tells a story in doggerel about this elf's purpose, which is to spy on the kid and report his doings to Santa Claus, who would then determine if the kid is worthy for Christmas presents this year. The book also said for the kid not to touch him, or the magic would fade, and for the family to give the elf a name. I wanted to name him Stasi. I was outvoted.

Actor Billy Dee Williams calls himself a man or a woman, depending on whim; his character Lando Calrissian is "pansexual," and his writer implies that he'd become intimate with anyone or anything, including, one presumes, a dog, a toaster, or a baby. J.J. Abrams is very concerned about LGBTQ representation in the Star Wars universe. This is Hollywood. This is Star Wars. This is what's important to the people in charge of your cinematic entertainment. Are you not entertained?

The funniest thing on the internet today is the number of people angry over an exercise bike commercial. Public outrage is always funny. Always.

One of the biggest mistakes the United States has ever made since WWII was recruiting for clandestine and federal law enforcement organizations at Ivy League schools. The best talent pools were/are available from local law enforcement and military veterans, with their maturity and, most importantly, field experience. We've been reaping the costs of these terrible decisions for decades, culminating in a hopelessly politicized, sub-competent FBI and CIA.

Watching Fauda seasons 1 and 2 again in preparation for season 3 to be broadcast, one hopes, in early 2020. Here's my back-of-the-matchbook review of season 2.

Every day I try to be grateful for what I have, even in the face of the petty frustrations and troubles that pockmark a day spent outside of one's living room, binge-watching Netflix. We live lives of ease in 21st century America, making it enormously difficult to do anything but take one's countless blessings for granted. Holidays like the just-passed Thanksgiving are helpful reminders. There's a reason why people call the attitude of a thankful heart practicing gratitude, not just feeling grateful. You have to practice it. You have to remind yourself of what you have. It's the work of a lifetime.

Held Back: A Recent Conversation.
8-year-old: Oh, and Jamie was there, too. He was in my first grade class two years ago.
Me: Wasn't he held back a year?
8yo: Yeah. It's because he kept going to the bathroom with the door open.
Me: No way!
8yo: And girls saw.
Me: That's not right. They're not going to hold a kid back a whole year over that.
8yo: Well, that's what he told me.
Me: Sounds fishy.
8yo: I believe him.
~fin~

It's right and good to push a raft of politically correct social justice policies on everything else under the sun, but when social justice invades Hollywood, that's just a bridge too far, says Terry Gilliam. Sorry, Terry: you helped make this sandwich. EAT IT.

Rob Henderson's piece on luxury beliefs will have you nodding your head over and over again...unless you subscribe to these luxury beliefs, in which case you'll get mad.

I've made the Saturday bread from Flour Water Salt Yeast so often that I've memorized the recipe. It never disappoints. Never. The same recipe works well for pizza, too.

Liberty doesn't mean the freedom to do anything you want. The true definition of liberty is the ability to choose the good. Anything less is libertinism.

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