When the much-missed horror site The Slaughtered Bird closed its doors, the site’s proprietor, with my enthusiastic permission, gave my oeuvre of book and movie reviews to the site Attack from Planet B, who, over time, has been reposting them. This includes older gems like the unbelievably awful slasher flick Red Christmas, for example. Sometimes giving a terrible movie a negative review is revenge for wasting my time.

In appreciation for Attack from Planet B rescuing my reviews from (perhaps deserved) oblivion, I’ve agreed to watch and review a new spate of independent and/or foreign films. My newest is a review of the Polish medical drama Botoks:

The clumsy, shrill feminist message running throughout the film is undercut by the plot. A female urologist’s husband tells her that he wants a divorce because he finds her vagina hideous to look at. He even uses the term “beef curtains.” (I don’t know if that’s an exact translation; all I can do is read the subtitles.) Later that day, the understandably unsettled doctor with the unappealing genitals insists that a male patient provide a semen sample by masturbating in front of her. After she gets fired for this piece of questionable professional behavior, she becomes a pioneer in vaginal plastic surgery, and even has her own female parts prettified. Today’s woke feminism would, no doubt, have her shouting her pride in her, ah, “beef curtains” instead of having them adjusted according to sexist male standards of attractiveness.

Please read this review. PLEASE. Don’t let my suffering go unwitnessed.