David Dubrow

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Appalling Stories: Excerpt

March 12, 2018 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

Harrisburg United Against Hate had met with the mayor to ensure there’d be no police presence. Once the media got wind of the agreement, they decided to avoid the event. They hadn’t fared well with HUAH during its previous operations.

The noise of shoes echoing off the pavement mixed with a jumble of shouting and chanting. An unmistakable voice rose above it all. “Violence against hate isn’t violence!”

Movie star Ciara Jacobs was only seven paces ahead in her sleeveless white T-shirt and form-fitting jeans. Haley smiled, pleased that they were similarly-dressed. Of course, her tee and jeans were nothing like Ciara’s. And Ciara wore oversized hiking boots while Haley had on an old pair of cross-trainers. But she didn’t care about the differences: just being close to her gave her a charge.

Ciara’s black hair was up in a bun and she wore sunglasses that must have cost at least four figures. Two bodyguards and a personal assistant filming with a smartphone kept pace with her. The bodyguards made sure Haley couldn’t get any closer than five feet even when she hurried to catch up.

Soon others started chanting, “Violence against hate isn’t violence!” and it became the chant for the remainder of the march.

Haley joined in as Harrisburg United Against Hate reached the first intersection. Some halted and wanted to help stop traffic, but others barreled on through. That emboldened everyone and once they crossed the intersection, they moved off the sidewalk and into the street.

All traffic on North Fourth Street had to stop for the mob that totaled over a hundred people. As they reached the next intersection, still chanting, Haley caught a glimpse of the rally point.

“Hey,” she said to a kid in a black ball cap. “Who’re we going after today, anyway?”

He stopped chanting and told her, “They’re called WBP. I think it stands for We’ve Been Patient.”

“Ever heard of them before?”

“Nah,” he said, shrugging. “But who cares, right? They say they oppose progress on all the important issues. How outrageous is that? I mean, hate is hate and someone has to stop them.”

(Taken from Our Violence Isn’t Violence by Paul Hair.)

—

This story, along with twelve other hard-hitting tales of science fiction, satire, horror, and more are available in Appalling Stories: 13 Tales of Social Injustice!

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Appalling Stories: Excerpt

March 5, 2018 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

I’m not any kind of writer. I’m not John Grisham. I don’t even read except for the sports page. So if you don’t like my writing style I don’t give a shit. What I’m going to do when I’m done putting all this down is wrap the notebook in fifty layers of Saran Wrap, stuff it in a bunch of Publix bags, and lock it up in the gun safe. The safe’s supposed to be fireproof.

I don’t have to tell you that. If you’re reading this you must’ve gone to a hell of a lot of trouble to get to it. If there even is a you. My bet is no one will ever see this.

Why am I writing it, then? Something to do before I die. The TV doesn’t work anymore. Nothing does. I don’t have any kids (that I know of, hyuck hyuck) to leave anything to. No close family. A few friends, but I’m sure they’re dead now.

I’m next. I can hear them outside. They’ll find a way in and that’ll be that. You can’t shoot them. I mean, it’s impossible. So when they do get in I’ll put my Colt 1911 to my eyeball and pull the trigger.

I hope it doesn’t hurt.

(Taken from The Bitterness of Honey by David Dubrow.)

—

This story, along with twelve other hard-hitting tales of science fiction, satire, horror, and more are available in Appalling Stories: 13 Tales of Social Injustice!

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Appalling Stories: Excerpt

February 26, 2018 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

Kyle’s pulse accelerated. He tapped login and password. A long-awaited message popped up on the screen: Congratulations, KyNe007! You’re approved! Your reservation to The Orishas is being processed!

A thrill snaked up his leg. A daunting task to book a spot! The Orishas was no ordinary resort: adult, erotic, exclusive and secret, catering to special tastes. You submitted a request to attend and you were checked out. Nothing cursory: they dug. Orishas required a lengthy and probing questionnaire, credit check and a checkbox psych and medical evaluation, all done on-line. No poseurs or risk candidates allowed: only a select and completely safe clientele gained admittance.

And now he ranked among those admitted. The Elite, the Chosen.

Of course, it cost a wad and a half with payment in advance. But this proved no obstacle; Kyle transferred the funds from his bank to the The Orishas LLC in the Caymans with a few clicks. AFC, with liberal policies regarding time off, required only firm calendar dates for Kyle’s pre-approved vacation.

Kyle had planned this vacation for a year. Now it came together. Via secure email The Orishas transmitted various contracts, disclaimers and waivers for Kyle to read and sign. He sat down with another icy lager and a plate of celebratory chocolate habanero peppers that set his gums afire.

He exulted: Orisha-bound. Oh for joy!

(Taken from The Orishas by Ray Zacek.)

—

This story, along with twelve other hard-hitting tales of science fiction, satire, horror, and more are available in Appalling Stories: 13 Tales of Social Injustice!

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Appalling Stories: Excerpts

February 19, 2018 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

He wiped some sweat out of his eyes and tugged at the top of his body armor where it was pushing just a little too much into his throat. We were kneeling on the rocky ground between some low-growing vegetation. General Cardiff sat in on our discussion.

“Am I missing anything, sarge?” Lieutenant Kettering asked.

“No, sir. You’re doing fine,” I said.

Lieutenant Kettering and the two other troops would reconnoiter the Taliban from that hill. It would allow us to see the entire objective, verify the size of the forces there, how ready to defend they were, and it would allow us to verify that our preferred avenue of approach was clear. After that it would become an observation post during the assault.

“Just make sure you and your soldiers are careful,” the general said.

“Yes, sir,” Lieutenant Kettering said. “We are very safety-conscious.”

The general squinted at him. “I mean, you need to make sure your soldiers know not to endanger any of the local populace.”

“Y-yes, sir,” Lieutenant Kettering said again. “But we’re just doing reconnaissance right now, and our intelligence said there likely aren’t any civilians here.”

“Lieutenant Kettering, you can’t trust that intelligence is one hundred percent accurate,” the general told him, tapping his gloved left index finger on the bipod of his M4 carbine. “So you better make sure your troops are aware of civilian considerations. We’re here to serve the Afghan people.”

(Taken from Our Diversity Is Our Strength! by Paul Hair)

—

Adam was about to send another blast in his fight against Oscar when something slammed into his back, shredding his shirt and ripping his flesh. The impact sent him tumbling through the sky. He quickly righted himself and zeroed in on what had hit him.

Adam raised his hands in time to shield his face from another swarm of Martin’s razor-like energy discs, but the blast knocked him backward again, slashing what remained of his shirt and cutting him further. Blood flowed from his front and back.

Adam fired back as Martin kept flying at him. He missed. Martin flew full speed into him, driving him farther backwards. Then the two men began grappling in the air.

Martin got a hand free and tried to blast Adam in the face. Adam dodged that. Oscar had maneuvered behind them and fired more light daggers. Some of them pounded into Adam’s spine and kidneys; others hit him in the head, snapping it forward.

(Taken from Mortal Gods: “Presidential Pardon” by Paul Hair.)

—

These stories, along with eleven other hard-hitting tales of science fiction, satire, horror, and more are available in Appalling Stories: 13 Tales of Social Injustice!

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An Appalling Interview

January 18, 2018 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

Christian Toto interviewed Paul Hair, Ray Zacek, and yours truly on his site Hollywood in Toto:

HiT: “Bake Me a Cake” is ripped directly from the headlines with a sneaky twist. Can you share why you decided to tackle that topic head on?

Dave Dubrow: A writer friend suggested the idea behind Bake Me a Cake some time ago: a story about a mom-and-pop bakery asked to do “The Aristocrats” of cakes. He/She requested that he/she remain anonymous, which is one of the reasons why Appalling Stories is necessary: the far-left stranglehold on publishing is so pervasive and frightening that even moderately left-wing writers avoid controversial subjects for fear of social and professional backlash.

I had to write the story because the underlying concept behind it is playing itself out right now in the real world, and it’s as ludicrous as any fiction you can bring to mind. Sweet Cakes by Melissa has been ordered to pay $135,000 in emotional damages to a lesbian couple for not baking them a wedding cake.

The plaintiffs’ hurt fee-fees are more important than the First Amendment to the Constitution.

Read the whole thing here!

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The Print Version of Appalling Stories Is Live

January 12, 2018 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

I’m pleased to announce that the print version of Appalling Stories: 13 Tales of Social Injustice is live on Amazon!

Now’s your chance to get a physical copy of the book that Benjamin Wilhelm, Staff Writer for NOQReport and noted advocate for veterans and Second Amendment issues called “A must-read for every patriotic American!”

Appalling Stories isn’t controversial for its own sake; it’s controversial because it tackles themes, characters, and situations that have suddenly become counter-cultural in a society marinating in politically correct agitprop. We use social issues as the setting, not the theme, bringing you entertainment first and foremost. The kind of entertainment that would send the Social Justice crowd screaming for a safe space.

Get your copy now before it’s banned for content!

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"It began to drizzle rain and he turned on the windshield wipers; they made a great clatter like two idiots clapping in church." --Flannery O'Connor, Wise Blood

"Squop chicken? I never get enough to eat when I eat squop chicken. I told you that when we sat down. You gotta give me that. I told you when we sat down, I said frankly I said this is not my idea of a meal, squop chicken. I'm a big eater." --John O'Hara, BUtterfield 8

I saw the 1977 cartoon The Hobbit as a little boy, and it kindled a love of heroic fantasy that has never left me. Orson Bean's passing is terrible news. Rest in peace.

Obviously, these young people have been poorly served by their parents, but the honest search for practical information should be lauded, not contemned.

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In the midst of reading books about modern farming, the 6,000 year history of bread, and ancient grains, I found this just-published piece by farmer and scholar Victor Davis Hanson: Remembering the Farming Way.

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If you're interested in understanding our current cultural insanity, the best primer available is Douglas Murray's The Madness of Crowds. Thoughtful, entertaining, and incisive.

More laws are dumb. More law enforcement is dumb. The only proper response to violence is overwhelming violence. End the assault. There's a rising anti-semitism problem in New York because Jews who act like victims are being victimized by predators. None of these attacks are random. Carry a weapon and practice deploying it under duress. Be alert and aware. I don't understand why the women Tiffany Harris attacked didn't flatten her face into the pavement, but once word gets around that the consequences of violence are grave, the violence will lessen.

When are you assholes going to understand that this stupidity doesn't work any longer? Nobody gives much of a damn if you think we're sexist because we don't want to see a movie you think we should see. It only makes us dislike you that much more, and you started out being an unlikable asshole. Find a new way to shame normal people.

The movie Terms of Endearment still holds up more than 35 years later, and if you're looking for a tearjerker, this is your jam. One element that didn't get a lot of mention is, at the end, when Flap, with a shrug, decides that his mother-in-law will become the mother of his children once Emma dies. He abandons them, and nothing is made of it. This always troubled me.

You need to read this story the next time you feel the urge to complain. And if you need a shot of admiration for another family's courage, check this out.

Progressive political activist and children's author J.K. Rowling finds herself on the wrong side of a mob she helped to create. The Woke Sandwich she's been trying to force-feed others since she earned enough f-you money doesn't taste as good as it looks when she's obliged to take a bite.

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It's easy to hate the older pop bands like Genesis for their popularity, but they were capable of genius, and it shows in No Son of Mine.

If you want to know which identity group has more clout, read this story of the Zola ads on the Hallmark Channel.

Rest in peace, René Auberjonois. I remember you from Benson as a kid. As an adult, I remember you as Janos Audron in the Legacy of Kain video game series. You made every role you were in a classic.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 2:
8-year-old: I wrote the elf a note! I hope he writes back.
Me: What did you write?
8yo: I asked if he has any friends.
Me: What if he says it's none of your business?
8yo: *eyes grow dark and glittering* Then I'll...touch him.
Me: Ah. Mutually assured destruction, then.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 1: My 8-year-old got an Elf on the Shelf the other day. The book it came with tells a story in doggerel about this elf's purpose, which is to spy on the kid and report his doings to Santa Claus, who would then determine if the kid is worthy for Christmas presents this year. The book also said for the kid not to touch him, or the magic would fade, and for the family to give the elf a name. I wanted to name him Stasi. I was outvoted.

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Held Back: A Recent Conversation.
8-year-old: Oh, and Jamie was there, too. He was in my first grade class two years ago.
Me: Wasn't he held back a year?
8yo: Yeah. It's because he kept going to the bathroom with the door open.
Me: No way!
8yo: And girls saw.
Me: That's not right. They're not going to hold a kid back a whole year over that.
8yo: Well, that's what he told me.
Me: Sounds fishy.
8yo: I believe him.
~fin~

It's right and good to push a raft of politically correct social justice policies on everything else under the sun, but when social justice invades Hollywood, that's just a bridge too far, says Terry Gilliam. Sorry, Terry: you helped make this sandwich. EAT IT.

Rob Henderson's piece on luxury beliefs will have you nodding your head over and over again...unless you subscribe to these luxury beliefs, in which case you'll get mad.

I've made the Saturday bread from Flour Water Salt Yeast so often that I've memorized the recipe. It never disappoints. Never. The same recipe works well for pizza, too.

Liberty doesn't mean the freedom to do anything you want. The true definition of liberty is the ability to choose the good. Anything less is libertinism.

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