David Dubrow

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2016 in Review: Top Five Books

December 22, 2016 by David Dubrow 1 Comment

I read about as much science fiction this year as I did horror, with some history, politics, and a few other genres thrown in. Picking favorite books from a list is, of course, a subjective sort of enterprise; how I feel about a book after I read it sometimes changes over time as I consider the quality of writing and story. I can tell if a book’s going to be worth my time from the blurb and the Amazon “Look Inside” feature. If the blurb’s substandard, the book is going to suck. If the first paragraph sucks, the rest of the book is going to suck worse. It’s axiomatic.

Reading book reviews is a secondary criterion for book selection at best, particularly in the indie horror genre: many “great” books have been shopped around to fellow writers and hangers-on for review who are eager to maintain a friendship instead of providing genuine (and necessary) critical feedback.

With that in mind, here are the five books that I enjoyed the most in 2016.

  • 5. Mortal Gods: Ignition by Paul Hair: A short, punchy anthology of superhero stories that hint at a terrible, dystopian America, and the lengths some superhumans will go to change it, or at least survive. Highlights the ugliness of modern warfare.
  • 4. The Ember War Saga by Richard Fox: Comprised of nine (!) books, this military sci-fi series was a lot of fun to read. I didn’t write an “official” review, but if blowing up aliens is your thing, these nine short novels will keep you entertained.
  • 3. The Well-Built City Trilogy by Jeffrey Ford: A surreal fantasy series about memory, ethics, beauty, and a number of other themes that sometimes made sense and sometimes didn’t. Despite their density, fans of Jonathan Carroll (like me) will enjoy all three books immensely.
  • 2. Dark Gold by David Angsten: I met David online and was impressed by how thoughtful he was, so I picked up a used copy of Dark Gold from Amazon (it’s out of print and not available as an e-book). Some weeks after the purchase, I figured I’d just read a couple pages here and there as time permitted, as I read everything else on my Kindle. It didn’t happen: I was drawn in and wound up spending several hours in a world of cocaine piñatas, bikini bottom-hidden gold coins, and a gigantic sea creature that’s as disquieting as anything I’ve ever read. A fun, fast-paced novel that reminded me of Eric Van Lustbader’s work (without the ninjas and communist apologia).
  • 1. The Final Cut by Jasper Bark: In 2015 I picked Jasper’s Stuck on You and Other Prime Cuts as my favorite read of that year, so I know how it must seem to pick another Jasper Bark book as this year’s favorite. Still, I have to do it because The Final Cut is just so damned good. It’s deep, disturbing, and meaningful, written by someone who’s expert at making you feel what he wants you to feel: a rare skill. It’s not just horror, though it’s horrific. It’s not merely urban fantasy, though it’s fantastic. What it does is straddle the genre line, keeping you turning the pages even as you cringe.

If you’d asked me at the end of last year that I’d be picking these titles as my favorite of 2016, I’d have called you crazy. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for 2017.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: book review, david angsten, horror, jasper bark, paul hair, richard fox, science fiction

2016 in Review: Top Five Movies

December 19, 2016 by David Dubrow 2 Comments

Through my association with The Slaughtered Bird I’ve watched more movies this year than last, particularly independent films. Some have been great, some middling, some terrible. A few have been real stand-outs, either through overall quality, or because I just liked them better. Even trashy films can be awesome. Here’s my list of the top five movies I’ve seen in 2016:

  • 5. The Invitation: A prime example of a film that’s not great, but one I quite enjoyed. Yes, some of it was silly in parts, but it had an overall, apocalyptic concept that tied it together and made it memorable.
  • 4. He Never Died: It’s usually a very good idea to avoid Henry Rollins in any guise, but in this movie he shone as an enigmatic, bizarre character in a  brutal, hyper-violent story that’s got several laughs and plenty of blood.
  • 3. Little Boy: It’s rare to see magical realism done right in any medium, but this film pulled it off. A poignant, if not terribly thoughtful movie about faith, family, and friendship that hits all the right notes.
  • 2. Der Bunker: Hysterically funny despite the subtitles, it’s a German film that also focuses on childhood and family, though with a much more bizarre set of circumstances. Weird, but relatable.
  • 1. Atmo Horrox: A film that’s so bizarre, so surreal, that it defies description. How can I describe the galumphing Catafuse, the french fry bucket, the horrible ghoul chasing the family man in a way that makes sense? I’m as surprised as you are that it’s my favorite film of the year, but when I sat down and thought about this list, Atmo Horrox topped it without effort. You’ve never seen anything quite like it.

I hope to have my Top 5 Books list ready by the end of the week.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: atmo horrox, der bunker, he never died, little boy, me me me, movie review, the invitation

Cindy Brady’s Big Sin

December 13, 2016 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

At The Loftus Party, I put the Susan Olsen situation in its proper context:

The public spat was terribly ugly and unprofessional, and even if Olsen hadn’t used the term “faggot,” she should’ve been fired anyway, because that’s not how adults settle differences. Nevertheless, Acord-Whiting initiated the spat by publicly whining about his difference of opinion with Olsen, as though Olsen committed a crime by disagreeing with him in the first place. In the end, Acord-Whiting made out like a bandit: he got publicity to bolster a career virtually unknown outside the rarefied, if smog-filled air of Los Angeles; he garnered sympathy from all the right people for having to endure online name-calling in this, the year 2016; and he exacted revenge against a political adversary (which, let’s face it, trumps everything).

Read it all to get the big picture.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: culture, sjw, susan olsen

Get the Greek: Free December 9 – 12!

December 9, 2016 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

My Kindle Single Get the Greek: A Chrismukkah Tale is free on Amazon from December 9 through December 12!

A perfect story to ease you the rest of the way through the holiday season, whether you trim a tree, light a menorah, or both. Click to get your free copy today!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: get the greek, giveaway, me me me, short fiction

Uncaged Book Reviews – December 2016 Edition

December 5, 2016 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

Nephilim SmlWriter Amy Shannon was kind enough to read and review The Nephilim and the False Prophet on her website:

It’s not a typical end of humanity paranormal or even supernatural story. It’s explosive, full of action and there are some Biblical references, but it tells its own story, and the reader is brought right in, wondering if the end is truly near.

This review and several others were picked up for publication in the December issue of Uncaged Magazine. Click to read interviews and book reviews of other titles you might find worth your while!

(After you’ve picked up your copy of The Nephilim and the False Prophet, of course.)

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: book review, me me me, nephilim and the false prophet, review, uncaged

Review: Goliath

December 1, 2016 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

goliathAt The Loftus Party, I reviewed the Amazon series Goliath:

The Amazon series Goliath is a riveting show, particularly if you like legal dramas. I don’t. For me, the legal genre ranks just above romantic comedies and right below wisecracking buddy films (Midnight Run excepted, of course). But my wife put it on while I was in the room, so what was I going to do, leave? I had great fun mimicking an English accent and saying, “Just so,” “Cheerio, chaps,” and, “As you say, Mrs. Codswallop,” all throughout her viewing of multiple seasons of Downton Abbey, so I couldn’t deprive her of my disruptive asides.

Is the entire program as riveting as the rest of the review? Click to find out!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: goliath, loftus party, review, television

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"It began to drizzle rain and he turned on the windshield wipers; they made a great clatter like two idiots clapping in church." --Flannery O'Connor, Wise Blood

"Squop chicken? I never get enough to eat when I eat squop chicken. I told you that when we sat down. You gotta give me that. I told you when we sat down, I said frankly I said this is not my idea of a meal, squop chicken. I'm a big eater." --John O'Hara, BUtterfield 8

I saw the 1977 cartoon The Hobbit as a little boy, and it kindled a love of heroic fantasy that has never left me. Orson Bean's passing is terrible news. Rest in peace.

Obviously, these young people have been poorly served by their parents, but the honest search for practical information should be lauded, not contemned.

You shouldn't look at or use Twitter, and this story is another perfect example. There's so much that's wrong here that it would take a battalion of clergy, philosophers, and psychologists to fully map it out, let alone treat the issue.

This is the advertising copy for Ilana Glazer's stand-up comedy special The Planet Is Burning: "Ilana Glazer‘s debut standup special is trés lol, and turns out - she one funny b. Check out Ilana’s thoughts on partnership, being a successful stoner adult, Nazis, Diva Cups, and more. Hold on to your nuts cuz this hour proves how useless the patriarchy is. For Christ’s sake, The Planet Is Burning, and it’s time a short, queer, hairy New York Jew screams it in your face!" This is written to make you want to watch it.

In the midst of reading books about modern farming, the 6,000 year history of bread, and ancient grains, I found this just-published piece by farmer and scholar Victor Davis Hanson: Remembering the Farming Way.

"I then confront the decreasing power of the movement in order to demonstrate the need for increased theorizations of the reflexive capacities of institutionalized power structures to sustain oppositional education social movements." Yes. Of course.

You should definitely check out Atomickristin's sci-fi story Women in Fridges.

As it turns out, there may yet be some kind of personal cost for attempting to incite a social media mob into violence against a teenage boy you don't know, but decided to hate anyway because reasons.

One of the biggest problems with internet content is that the vast majority of sites don't pay their writers, and it shows in the lack of quality writing. It's hard to find decent writers, and harder to scrape up the cash to pay them. This piece is a shining example of the problem of free content: it's worth what you pay for.

If you're interested in understanding our current cultural insanity, the best primer available is Douglas Murray's The Madness of Crowds. Thoughtful, entertaining, and incisive.

More laws are dumb. More law enforcement is dumb. The only proper response to violence is overwhelming violence. End the assault. There's a rising anti-semitism problem in New York because Jews who act like victims are being victimized by predators. None of these attacks are random. Carry a weapon and practice deploying it under duress. Be alert and aware. I don't understand why the women Tiffany Harris attacked didn't flatten her face into the pavement, but once word gets around that the consequences of violence are grave, the violence will lessen.

When are you assholes going to understand that this stupidity doesn't work any longer? Nobody gives much of a damn if you think we're sexist because we don't want to see a movie you think we should see. It only makes us dislike you that much more, and you started out being an unlikable asshole. Find a new way to shame normal people.

The movie Terms of Endearment still holds up more than 35 years later, and if you're looking for a tearjerker, this is your jam. One element that didn't get a lot of mention is, at the end, when Flap, with a shrug, decides that his mother-in-law will become the mother of his children once Emma dies. He abandons them, and nothing is made of it. This always troubled me.

You need to read this story the next time you feel the urge to complain. And if you need a shot of admiration for another family's courage, check this out.

Progressive political activist and children's author J.K. Rowling finds herself on the wrong side of a mob she helped to create. The Woke Sandwich she's been trying to force-feed others since she earned enough f-you money doesn't taste as good as it looks when she's obliged to take a bite.

I need you to check out The Kohen Chronicles and pray for this family. Their 5-year-old son has cancer.

Currently, the movie Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker stands at 55% at Rotten Tomatoes. Don't forget that these are the same reviewers who not only adored the absolutely execrable The Last Jedi, but insisted that you were a MAGA hat-wearing incel white supremacist manbaby for not loving The Last Jedi. So either The Rise of Skywalker is an objectively bad film, or it simply wasn't woke enough to earn plaudits from our movie-reviewing moral and intellectual betters.

It's easy to hate the older pop bands like Genesis for their popularity, but they were capable of genius, and it shows in No Son of Mine.

If you want to know which identity group has more clout, read this story of the Zola ads on the Hallmark Channel.

Rest in peace, René Auberjonois. I remember you from Benson as a kid. As an adult, I remember you as Janos Audron in the Legacy of Kain video game series. You made every role you were in a classic.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 2:
8-year-old: I wrote the elf a note! I hope he writes back.
Me: What did you write?
8yo: I asked if he has any friends.
Me: What if he says it's none of your business?
8yo: *eyes grow dark and glittering* Then I'll...touch him.
Me: Ah. Mutually assured destruction, then.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 1: My 8-year-old got an Elf on the Shelf the other day. The book it came with tells a story in doggerel about this elf's purpose, which is to spy on the kid and report his doings to Santa Claus, who would then determine if the kid is worthy for Christmas presents this year. The book also said for the kid not to touch him, or the magic would fade, and for the family to give the elf a name. I wanted to name him Stasi. I was outvoted.

Actor Billy Dee Williams calls himself a man or a woman, depending on whim; his character Lando Calrissian is "pansexual," and his writer implies that he'd become intimate with anyone or anything, including, one presumes, a dog, a toaster, or a baby. J.J. Abrams is very concerned about LGBTQ representation in the Star Wars universe. This is Hollywood. This is Star Wars. This is what's important to the people in charge of your cinematic entertainment. Are you not entertained?

The funniest thing on the internet today is the number of people angry over an exercise bike commercial. Public outrage is always funny. Always.

One of the biggest mistakes the United States has ever made since WWII was recruiting for clandestine and federal law enforcement organizations at Ivy League schools. The best talent pools were/are available from local law enforcement and military veterans, with their maturity and, most importantly, field experience. We've been reaping the costs of these terrible decisions for decades, culminating in a hopelessly politicized, sub-competent FBI and CIA.

Watching Fauda seasons 1 and 2 again in preparation for season 3 to be broadcast, one hopes, in early 2020. Here's my back-of-the-matchbook review of season 2.

Every day I try to be grateful for what I have, even in the face of the petty frustrations and troubles that pockmark a day spent outside of one's living room, binge-watching Netflix. We live lives of ease in 21st century America, making it enormously difficult to do anything but take one's countless blessings for granted. Holidays like the just-passed Thanksgiving are helpful reminders. There's a reason why people call the attitude of a thankful heart practicing gratitude, not just feeling grateful. You have to practice it. You have to remind yourself of what you have. It's the work of a lifetime.

Held Back: A Recent Conversation.
8-year-old: Oh, and Jamie was there, too. He was in my first grade class two years ago.
Me: Wasn't he held back a year?
8yo: Yeah. It's because he kept going to the bathroom with the door open.
Me: No way!
8yo: And girls saw.
Me: That's not right. They're not going to hold a kid back a whole year over that.
8yo: Well, that's what he told me.
Me: Sounds fishy.
8yo: I believe him.
~fin~

It's right and good to push a raft of politically correct social justice policies on everything else under the sun, but when social justice invades Hollywood, that's just a bridge too far, says Terry Gilliam. Sorry, Terry: you helped make this sandwich. EAT IT.

Rob Henderson's piece on luxury beliefs will have you nodding your head over and over again...unless you subscribe to these luxury beliefs, in which case you'll get mad.

I've made the Saturday bread from Flour Water Salt Yeast so often that I've memorized the recipe. It never disappoints. Never. The same recipe works well for pizza, too.

Liberty doesn't mean the freedom to do anything you want. The true definition of liberty is the ability to choose the good. Anything less is libertinism.

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