Get the Greek: A Chrismukkah Tale remains my favorite piece of writing: a comic short story of one man’s attempt to end the commercialization of both Christmas and Hanukkah. As the best things in life are free, I’m offering it for the low, low price of $0.00 from today until December 22! Here’s an exclusive excerpt:
Judah Maccabee spat a curse, reached out to slam the laptop shut, and threw both hands in the air instead. Rivka kept telling him it was a waste of time watching World Jews Tonight. Why do you want to raise your blood pressure with all that bad news, she would ask. Earth’s a billion miles away on a whole other plane of existence, for cat’s sake.
“Because it matters,” he grumbled in response to her imaginary carping. “I didn’t die watching my own guts spill out on the hills of Elasa so Jews could put up Hanukkah bushes in December. They might as well burn offerings to Apollo.”
Rivka called out from the kitchen, “Did you say something, dear?”
Shaking his head as much to clear it as deny he had spoken, he replied, “Ah, no, honey. Just watching the news.”
“Well, dinner’s almost ready. Florence and Chaim’ll be here in five minutes.”
He fumbled around the surface of the desk, frowning. Where did I—
“Your sunglasses’re in the top right drawer,” Rivka supplied helpfully.
So, as my belated Hanukkah/early Christmas gift to you, click the link and get your free copy of Get the Greek before December 23!
Appalling Stories 2: More Appalling Tales of Social Injustice

I guess if you hadn’t broken things off with me for taking care of our little…indiscretion, I’d’ve split up with you. It makes sense now, but back then I just felt hurt. With a degree in Women’s Studies from Vassar, pretty much the only option I had after graduation was VP of HR at a Nestle subsidiary while you saved the world one hedge fund at a time. But not long after you proposed, my senior adviser introduced me to some friends of hers, who introduced me to some friends of theirs, and, well, I could either follow your plan for us, or my plan for me.
I started writing the Armageddon trilogy in early 2013, with the outline of
My short story Dear Dad was published in Issue 2 of the literary magazine Cinder Quarterly, and you can get it