David Dubrow

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Breadhead Friday: Pizzas I Have Known

October 17, 2014 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

It’s been another extremely busy week.  Here are the highlights:

  • The novella is finished editing and has gone on to formatting.  Once again, I’ve used Mark Coker’s Smashwords Style Guide, which is an excellent resource on formatting documents into ebooks.  It’s a somewhat lengthy process, but the results are worth it.
  • I trained myself to use GIMP to create a cover for the novella.  GIMP is powerful, easy to use, and free.  Luckily, I have some experience using Photoshop, so GIMP wasn’t terribly difficult to learn.  The cover photo was taken by me at 4:30 AM in downtown Dunedin.
  • Everyone says that unless you’re a graphic artist, you shouldn’t do your own book covers.  That’s mostly true. However, I have done professional graphic art and have experience designing both book and video covers.  The cover for Dreadedin Chronicles: The Nameless City is good and captures the feel and look of what I’d imagined.
  • I changed the look of this blog.
  • I practiced baking bread in a dutch oven.  The results have been good, but I want them to be great, so I continue to work at it.
With all that in mind, here are some pizzas I have made over the last few months.  This does not represent all of the pizzas; only the ones I remembered to take photos of.
Turkey pepperoni and chicken parm pizza

Turkey pepperoni, grilled chicken, and bacon

Turkey pepperoni, chicken parm, and bacon

Turkey pepperoni and bacon

Sloppy joe pizza

A few notes:

  • Obviously, my family is keeping the turkey pepperoni industry afloat.  It’s a heavy task, but someone has to do it.
  • A chicken and bacon pizza is about as good as it gets, especially if it’s chicken parm.  
  • For the sloppy joe pizza, things went in a different but delicious direction: I added some leftover sloppy joes I’d made to the sauce, which gave it some extra protein and diced peppers.  The crust is also different: I used leftover lean dough from a dutch oven boule I’d made earlier in the week.  It’s an experiment that’s well worth repeating.
  • And just so we don’t seem like pigs here, a green salad always precedes pizza,  I call it a “kitchen sink” salad because I add diced apples, strawberries, blueberries, jicama, and papaya to the typical greens, carrots, radishes, cucumbers, peapods, etc.  It’s become such a habit that our three-year-old naturally expects a salad before pizza. Go figure.
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Filed Under: breadhead friday, cover art, dreadedin, gimp, pizza, the nameless city, we do eat veggies here you know, ya novella

Breadhead Friday: Focaccia

September 5, 2014 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

The only experience most of us will have with focaccia is a dry piece flatbread served at chain restaurants as an Italian-style appetizer or part of a more ambitious bread basket.  Which is a shame, because properly prepared, there are few things in the world more delicious than focaccia.  Moist with herb oil and a tender, almost creamy crumb, you won’t believe how good it can be.

By properly prepared, I mean you need to have a high hydration dough to get this to work (75%-80%).  The recipe I use is very similar to this raisin bread recipe, though I obviously leave out the dried fruit for more savory ingredients.

Before baking. Sliced tomatoes and plenty of herb oil

After baking: note the char. The herb oil cooks the tomatoes a little, too

A word of explanation about percentages: a 75-80% hydration dough means that if the weight of flour equals 100%, you need to have 75-80% of that weight in water, also.  So if you add a pound of flour, you have to add .75 or .85 lbs of water.  A more detailed explanation of baker’s percentage can be found here.

Pepperoni pizza focaccia

Typically, I treat it like a pizza, and put various toppings on it.  We’d have it more often, but it’s a bit time-consuming to make: lots of time and care.  But it’s worth it.  Every delicious bite.  Make some.  You won’t regret it.

Left: tomatoes and cheese. Right: tomatoes, sauteed onions and cheese

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Filed Under: breadhead friday, focaccia, pizza

Breadhead Friday: Pizza Sauce Recipe

August 8, 2014 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

Pursuant to the post on making pizza at home, I want to give out my recipe for pizza sauce.  It’s easy, quick, and tasty.  There’s a brightness to it from the red wine vinegar, a little heat from the red pepper flake, and enough spices to give it great flavor, but not overwhelm the toppings and crust.

And the best part is that you don’t have to cook it.  The sauce cooks on the pizza itself.

This recipe is the product of trial and error across dozens of pizzas, and will make enough sauce to cover five (5) average-sized pies.

Ingredients
1 28 oz. can of crushed tomatoes
1 28 oz. can of tomato puree
1 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 and 1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 tbsp basil
1 and 1/2 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp black pepper
A few shakes of red pepper flake
Salt to taste

Mise en place

All you have to do is put the ingredients into a bowl and mix them with a whisk.  Couldn’t be easier.

In the bowl, ready to be whisked

Once you’ve got it mixed together, give it a little taste.  I know it’s not cooked, but it’ll be okay, I promise.  The tomatoes have been steamed as part of the canning process.  If it needs salt, add salt.

All mixed up

If you use the pizza recipe linked at the top of this post, you’ll see that the pizza is baked at a pretty high heat (500 degrees F or higher).  So you don’t need to cook the sauce: it’s a thin layer on the dough that will get cooked as part of the baking process.

The sauce is on the pizza – REPEAT: the sauce is on the pizza

Portion out the sauce into five containers and freeze or refrigerate them as you see fit.  You may want to make this sauce a couple hours before making the pizza to allow the flavors to meld.

The distribution of pepperoni here is reminiscent of the Tunguska Explosion of 1908

There you go.  Now you’ve got one less excuse to go to Pizza Hut.  Not that there’s anything wrong with Pizza Hut.

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Filed Under: breadhead friday, pizza, recipes, sauce, tunguska blast

Delicious and Easy Saturday Night Pizza

July 18, 2014 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

A casual trip down the frozen food aisle of any American supermarket or a few minutes of watching network television will show you that we love pizza in the U.S.  My family’s no different.  However, we’re no longer fetched by TV commercials, Domino’s blandishments, or chichi artisan pizzas that cost fifteen dollars for a burnt flatbread with goat cheese and arugula, because I make delicious pizzas to our taste about once a week.  And it’s very easy to do.

The recipe I use is taken, in part, from this Quick Rustic Ciabatta Pizza recipe.  I have just altered it a little.
Required Special Equipment
A stand mixer
A kitchen scale
Required Materials
Parchment paper
Spray oil
Olive oil
Equipment That Is Good to Have but Not Necessary
A pizza stone (if not this, a cookie sheet)
A pizza peel (if not this, a second cookie sheet)
Ingredients
250 grams of bread flour (8.8 oz) – King Arthur brand flour provides the best results
7 grams salt (.25 oz)
1 tsp quick-rising yeast
1 cup water
Your favorite pizza cheese
Your favorite pizza sauce
Your favorite toppings
Directions:
Mise en place
Put the flour in the mixer bowl.  On one side of the bowl, put your yeast.  On the other side, your salt.  Cover them up with the flour a little: this keeps the salt from killing the yeast early in the mixing process.  Add the water, and with the paddle attachment, start mixing on slow speed.
It will look like this after twenty seconds or so

Once the ingredients are incorporated, turn the mixer on as fast as it will go.  This will not burn out the motor.  Keep it on the highest speed until it cleans the sides of the bowl: about five minutes or so, depending.  It will come together, trust me.  As it mixes, get a non-reactive, transparent vessel like a plastic pitcher and put spray oil on the inside.
Dough coming together
As it begins to transform from a batter to a dough, don’t leave the mixer alone.  The mixer has a tendency to move a little, and you don’t want it to hop off the counter.  Once it cleans the sides of the bowl, turn off the mixer and put the extremely wet, sticky dough into your prepared vessel.
It will look a lot like this
Cover the vessel with plastic wrap and put it in a warm place to rise.  You want it to triple in size.  Depending on the warmth of your rising/proofing place and the warmth of the water you put into the dough, this can take 90 minutes to two hours or more.  
Before the rise

If you have a pizza stone, put it in the oven and preheat the oven to 500 degrees Fahrenheit 45 minutes before you plan to bake.  If you don’t have a pizza stone, put a cookie sheet into the oven and preheat the oven to 500 degrees Fahrenheit 30 minutes before you plan to bake.  If your oven’s temperature goes higher, take it to 550 or as high as it will go.  You want that oven very hot.

Tripled in size

Once the dough has tripled, tear off a sheet of parchment paper large enough to cover your pizza peel or the back of another cookie sheet and pour a tablespoon of olive oil onto it.  Spread the olive oil over the parchment paper at around the size you want the pizza to be and dump the risen pizza dough onto the oiled paper.
The dough on the oiled paper on the peel

Rub your hands on the oiled paper to get them slick and press the dough out into a rough pizza shape with your fingertips.  It doesn’t have to be perfectly round.  I occasionally get them into that perfect circle shape, but it’s not a big deal when I don’t.  This is a homemade pizza, not a professional one.  The imperfection makes it yours.  Once the dough starts to really resist shaping, leave it alone for ten minutes to let the gluten in the dough relax.

Right after the first pressing/dimpling – note the air bubbles
After ten minutes, re-oil your hands and press the pizza out into its final shape.  Then spread the sauce onto it.  I have a delicious pizza sauce recipe that I’ll post at a different time.
Saucy dough – yes, it’s coming off the paper a little at the bottom there
Slide the sauced dough, along with the parchment paper, onto your pizza stone or cookie sheet in the oven and bake it for about 6 or 7 minutes.  If you put the cheese and toppings on now, the cheese will get very brown and crackly.  Which isn’t bad if you like it that way.
Two minutes into the oven, and the bubbles are getting bigger

Get your cheese and toppings ready, and after that 6 or 7 minutes, open the oven and top the pizza.  There will be a good bit of steam that escapes from both the baking pizza dough and the sauce, and it’ll be very hot, but if you top the pizza quickly, it’s not a bad experience.  Just don’t burn yourself.

Nascent pizza ready to be topped

I use a prepackaged cheese blend and turkey pepperoni typically, but we’ve also made some really delicious pizzas by putting on leftovers like burger pieces, grilled chicken, meatballs, sauteed peppers and onions, etc.  The dough’s the canvas and you’re the artist, so go wild.
Topped and ready for final baking

Bake for another 7 or 8 minutes, or until the crust gets golden brown and the cheese is melted.  The parchment paper will darken but not ignite.  Probably.  It never has with me, and I’ve done this in several different kitchens.  Still, be careful.

Done and out of the oven – note the char

A slice – the air bubbles in the crust give it flavor

You’ll note that I don’t add extra flour or water to the dough: just a little oil in the preparation process.  Despite that the dough is made of only four ingredients: flour, salt, yeast, and water, it’s really, really tasty.  Crunchy, chewy, and holds up to sauces and toppings.  It’s a pizza you can look forward to.  
Is it as easy to prepare as a frozen Freschetta from a box?  No.  But it’s vastly better, and you know exactly what’s inside it.  It came out of your kitchen and you made it to your personal tastes.  With rising and shaping times, it can take between 2 and 2.5 hours to make, but it’s worth it.  
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Filed Under: baking, dough, homemade, it's not delivery it's better than that, pizza, pizza recipe, recipes

"It began to drizzle rain and he turned on the windshield wipers; they made a great clatter like two idiots clapping in church." --Flannery O'Connor, Wise Blood

"Squop chicken? I never get enough to eat when I eat squop chicken. I told you that when we sat down. You gotta give me that. I told you when we sat down, I said frankly I said this is not my idea of a meal, squop chicken. I'm a big eater." --John O'Hara, BUtterfield 8

I saw the 1977 cartoon The Hobbit as a little boy, and it kindled a love of heroic fantasy that has never left me. Orson Bean's passing is terrible news. Rest in peace.

Obviously, these young people have been poorly served by their parents, but the honest search for practical information should be lauded, not contemned.

You shouldn't look at or use Twitter, and this story is another perfect example. There's so much that's wrong here that it would take a battalion of clergy, philosophers, and psychologists to fully map it out, let alone treat the issue.

This is the advertising copy for Ilana Glazer's stand-up comedy special The Planet Is Burning: "Ilana Glazer‘s debut standup special is trés lol, and turns out - she one funny b. Check out Ilana’s thoughts on partnership, being a successful stoner adult, Nazis, Diva Cups, and more. Hold on to your nuts cuz this hour proves how useless the patriarchy is. For Christ’s sake, The Planet Is Burning, and it’s time a short, queer, hairy New York Jew screams it in your face!" This is written to make you want to watch it.

In the midst of reading books about modern farming, the 6,000 year history of bread, and ancient grains, I found this just-published piece by farmer and scholar Victor Davis Hanson: Remembering the Farming Way.

"I then confront the decreasing power of the movement in order to demonstrate the need for increased theorizations of the reflexive capacities of institutionalized power structures to sustain oppositional education social movements." Yes. Of course.

You should definitely check out Atomickristin's sci-fi story Women in Fridges.

As it turns out, there may yet be some kind of personal cost for attempting to incite a social media mob into violence against a teenage boy you don't know, but decided to hate anyway because reasons.

One of the biggest problems with internet content is that the vast majority of sites don't pay their writers, and it shows in the lack of quality writing. It's hard to find decent writers, and harder to scrape up the cash to pay them. This piece is a shining example of the problem of free content: it's worth what you pay for.

If you're interested in understanding our current cultural insanity, the best primer available is Douglas Murray's The Madness of Crowds. Thoughtful, entertaining, and incisive.

More laws are dumb. More law enforcement is dumb. The only proper response to violence is overwhelming violence. End the assault. There's a rising anti-semitism problem in New York because Jews who act like victims are being victimized by predators. None of these attacks are random. Carry a weapon and practice deploying it under duress. Be alert and aware. I don't understand why the women Tiffany Harris attacked didn't flatten her face into the pavement, but once word gets around that the consequences of violence are grave, the violence will lessen.

When are you assholes going to understand that this stupidity doesn't work any longer? Nobody gives much of a damn if you think we're sexist because we don't want to see a movie you think we should see. It only makes us dislike you that much more, and you started out being an unlikable asshole. Find a new way to shame normal people.

The movie Terms of Endearment still holds up more than 35 years later, and if you're looking for a tearjerker, this is your jam. One element that didn't get a lot of mention is, at the end, when Flap, with a shrug, decides that his mother-in-law will become the mother of his children once Emma dies. He abandons them, and nothing is made of it. This always troubled me.

You need to read this story the next time you feel the urge to complain. And if you need a shot of admiration for another family's courage, check this out.

Progressive political activist and children's author J.K. Rowling finds herself on the wrong side of a mob she helped to create. The Woke Sandwich she's been trying to force-feed others since she earned enough f-you money doesn't taste as good as it looks when she's obliged to take a bite.

I need you to check out The Kohen Chronicles and pray for this family. Their 5-year-old son has cancer.

Currently, the movie Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker stands at 55% at Rotten Tomatoes. Don't forget that these are the same reviewers who not only adored the absolutely execrable The Last Jedi, but insisted that you were a MAGA hat-wearing incel white supremacist manbaby for not loving The Last Jedi. So either The Rise of Skywalker is an objectively bad film, or it simply wasn't woke enough to earn plaudits from our movie-reviewing moral and intellectual betters.

It's easy to hate the older pop bands like Genesis for their popularity, but they were capable of genius, and it shows in No Son of Mine.

If you want to know which identity group has more clout, read this story of the Zola ads on the Hallmark Channel.

Rest in peace, René Auberjonois. I remember you from Benson as a kid. As an adult, I remember you as Janos Audron in the Legacy of Kain video game series. You made every role you were in a classic.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 2:
8-year-old: I wrote the elf a note! I hope he writes back.
Me: What did you write?
8yo: I asked if he has any friends.
Me: What if he says it's none of your business?
8yo: *eyes grow dark and glittering* Then I'll...touch him.
Me: Ah. Mutually assured destruction, then.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 1: My 8-year-old got an Elf on the Shelf the other day. The book it came with tells a story in doggerel about this elf's purpose, which is to spy on the kid and report his doings to Santa Claus, who would then determine if the kid is worthy for Christmas presents this year. The book also said for the kid not to touch him, or the magic would fade, and for the family to give the elf a name. I wanted to name him Stasi. I was outvoted.

Actor Billy Dee Williams calls himself a man or a woman, depending on whim; his character Lando Calrissian is "pansexual," and his writer implies that he'd become intimate with anyone or anything, including, one presumes, a dog, a toaster, or a baby. J.J. Abrams is very concerned about LGBTQ representation in the Star Wars universe. This is Hollywood. This is Star Wars. This is what's important to the people in charge of your cinematic entertainment. Are you not entertained?

The funniest thing on the internet today is the number of people angry over an exercise bike commercial. Public outrage is always funny. Always.

One of the biggest mistakes the United States has ever made since WWII was recruiting for clandestine and federal law enforcement organizations at Ivy League schools. The best talent pools were/are available from local law enforcement and military veterans, with their maturity and, most importantly, field experience. We've been reaping the costs of these terrible decisions for decades, culminating in a hopelessly politicized, sub-competent FBI and CIA.

Watching Fauda seasons 1 and 2 again in preparation for season 3 to be broadcast, one hopes, in early 2020. Here's my back-of-the-matchbook review of season 2.

Every day I try to be grateful for what I have, even in the face of the petty frustrations and troubles that pockmark a day spent outside of one's living room, binge-watching Netflix. We live lives of ease in 21st century America, making it enormously difficult to do anything but take one's countless blessings for granted. Holidays like the just-passed Thanksgiving are helpful reminders. There's a reason why people call the attitude of a thankful heart practicing gratitude, not just feeling grateful. You have to practice it. You have to remind yourself of what you have. It's the work of a lifetime.

Held Back: A Recent Conversation.
8-year-old: Oh, and Jamie was there, too. He was in my first grade class two years ago.
Me: Wasn't he held back a year?
8yo: Yeah. It's because he kept going to the bathroom with the door open.
Me: No way!
8yo: And girls saw.
Me: That's not right. They're not going to hold a kid back a whole year over that.
8yo: Well, that's what he told me.
Me: Sounds fishy.
8yo: I believe him.
~fin~

It's right and good to push a raft of politically correct social justice policies on everything else under the sun, but when social justice invades Hollywood, that's just a bridge too far, says Terry Gilliam. Sorry, Terry: you helped make this sandwich. EAT IT.

Rob Henderson's piece on luxury beliefs will have you nodding your head over and over again...unless you subscribe to these luxury beliefs, in which case you'll get mad.

I've made the Saturday bread from Flour Water Salt Yeast so often that I've memorized the recipe. It never disappoints. Never. The same recipe works well for pizza, too.

Liberty doesn't mean the freedom to do anything you want. The true definition of liberty is the ability to choose the good. Anything less is libertinism.

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