David Dubrow

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Swords and Sorceries Volume 4

June 13, 2022 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

My short story The Green Wood is featured in the new anthology Swords & Sorceries: Tales of Heroic Fantasy Volume 4.

Set in a fantasy version of ancient Rome, The Green Wood is an old-school swords-and-sorcery tale filled with action, intrigue, and black magic. It’s a real honor to have my name alongside tremendous talents like Adrian Cole, whose short story collection Tough Guys was one of my all-time favorite reads.

Here’s an excerpt of The Green Wood:

Grimacing at the ache in his shoulder, a pain so fierce that he feared a plague quill had pierced his lorica armor, Lior swung his spatha in a downward cut. The long, broad-bladed sword splintered the shaft of the pike that thrust at his side, and the dirt-grimed pikeman took the edge across his jaw, severing it. Shrieking, adding to the battle din, the man staggered back, clutching the crimson ruin of his face. Lior spurred his horse to trample him into the mire of blood and dirt.

Sweat streamed into Lior’s eyes, narrowed to slits against the glare of the sun. Byzantium’s 9th Cohort had struggled and strained and fought for every yard of earth since dawn, and now, at long last, he spied the crest of the hill past ranks of armored Gauls. If Byzantium reached the high ground, the battle would be all but won.

Renewed by the possibility of victory, Lior flicked the reins to charge forward. His exhausted horse reared, and its iron-shod hooves shattered the skulls of the enemy on its way down.

“Sticking our necks out a bit, aren’t we, sir?” shouted a voice behind him.

Lior grinned. “Perhaps a hair.”

Optio Albian rode up to his left. Not as tall as Lior, but twice as broad, with skin the color of brick and a jaw that jutted aggressively past his helm’s cheek-guards. “We’re too far ahead!”

“They’ll catch up!” Panting, Lior leaned cross-body to drive his sword’s point into the upper chest of a pikeman fumbling after a missed thrust.

“D’you see anyone else?” Albian hacked arms and heads with the workmanlike chops of a butcher. His entire right side was bathed in dust-caked blood from shoulder to sandal, and the horse beneath him rolled its battle-mad eyes, barely controlled by the pressure of his knees.

“When we reach the hilltop they’ll flock to us.”

“Not if we—“ Albian paused. “DOWN!”

Without hesitation, Lior threw himself forward, along the neck of his horse.

For the rest of the story, click here to get a copy of Swords & Sorceries: Tales of Heroic Fantasy Volume 4.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: anthology, fantasy, short story, swords and sorcery

Dear Dad: The Inside Story

March 21, 2019 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

My short story Dear Dad is available to read free of charge at CinderQ, Taliesin Nexus’s online literary magazine. It shares space with Andrew Klavan’s story Goodfellow, so it’s in great company. Before you read further, you might want to check out Dear Dad if you haven’t already.

CinderQ wanted something connected to one of my earlier works, and at the time I had just published the Appalling Stories anthology. Returning to the strange world I’d created in the short story The Bitterness of Honey was a natural fit. My stories Bake Me a Cake (satire), Melanie’s Becoming (thriller), and Cultural Overtones (science fiction) didn’t leave me with anywhere to go, but Honey was a world I wanted to return to. It posits a bizarre apocalypse scenario: environmental extremists working with the once-vanished, now-returned honeybees to return the world to a pre-technological state. The bees are back, the tagline might say, and they sure are pissed! Beemageddon. Beepocalypse.

I always liked the gray alien science fiction stories: Whitley Streiber’s Communion and other fictionalized accounts of First Contact with extraterrestrials. Are the ETs hostile, friendly, or so alien that we can’t divine their motives? My intent was to do a First Contact story with these apparently intelligent bees: awestruck humans learning that the world’s a lot bigger and stranger than they thought, and how/why they’d work with such creatures to destroy human civilization.

In Dear Dad I didn’t quite get there. Which is a shame, because the story didn’t wind up where I’d planned it, but also a good thing, because the story I still want to write remains to be told.

Instead, Dear Dad became a story about a love triangle, of sorts, with bees and sex and murder. I found it in the black space in my brain that all of my ideas come from, the black space that’s so damned hard to get into and so easy to slip out of. The Muse. The Muse’s womb. The unconscious. The creative process. Whatever.

I enjoy reading first-person perspective fiction as much as anyone, but writing it isn’t easy. There’s nowhere else to go: you’re stuck with the same protagonist, so you better like him. And the readers better like him. Contrast that with my Armageddon trilogy, a very long, epic-style work with multiple protagonists, and you can see how I might find first-person perspective more difficult to write. I always have to have a reason for the narrator to write, a format for writing it, and a way of the account getting to the reader. In the short story Her Bodies, Her Choice in Appalling Stories 2, the narrator is talking to a video camera. In Appalling Stories 3, the narrator scribbles his story on scraps of rice paper.

In Dear Dad, the narrator writes an email to his estranged father. Hence the title.

The protagonist’s relationship with his father is a heartbreaker for me. My son’s still in single digits, so he needs me and we see each other every day and spend time together. He’s my little boy and I love him. Many of my friends have older/adult children, so they see their kids less often. They’re less involved in the day-to-day. It’s part of the maturation process and it’s what’s supposed to happen. The 2019 me doesn’t like to think about how the father-son relationship will become more distant for the 2029 me, but by then I’ll be fine with it. For now, it’s bad enough that my protagonist is in a position to have that adult relationship with his father, but it’s worse that he has no relationship with his father, and is reaching out to send one last message. I wanted to communicate that anger and resentment and longing and foolishness, and I hope I managed it in some small way.

Someday I’ll write the First Contact bee story. Someday. For now, enjoy Dear Dad.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: bees, bitterness of honey, cinderq, dear dad, me me me, short story, taliesin nexus

Appalling Stories 2 Excerpt: Her Bodies, Her Choice

November 15, 2018 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

Appalling Stories 2, sequel to Appalling Stories: 13 Tales of Social Injustice, will be released in December of 2018. What follows is a sneak peek at the short story Her Bodies, Her Choice.

—

Hey, it’s me. Don’t turn it off! Just…just hear me out.

My notes are written on legal pads and spiral notebooks. I did everything offline. I’ll let you know where I hid the original copies at the end of this video, but don’t just click to the end, okay? Watch the whole thing first. Do this for me. I know you hate me and think I’m a bitch and I don’t blame you, but please. Please. I can’t trust my parents. They’re probably part of this.

It sounds crazy and over-dramatic like…like in a movie, but the only reason you’re watching this is because I’m dead. It means they got me. My former friends and colleagues. If you’d seen my phone…I had writers from The Atlantic to The New York Times who’d take my calls on the first ring. Me. Not even 27 years old and people with bylines in The Daily Beast and The New Yorker knew my name. I was kind of a big shot. But one of them ratted me out for bringing them the story of the century. The millennium. Probably all of them did.

So yeah, I’m dead. It scares the hell out of me, but—

You know what? Forget it. I don’t know if you’re happy I’m dead or what. Maybe you are. I broke your heart, after all. I regret that. Not ending the engagement. Just hurting you. You didn’t deserve that. But I saw your wedding pictures on Instagram like two years after we split up, so I guess you weren’t too, well, broken up about it. She’s pretty. You two look happy.

—

I guess if you hadn’t broken things off with me for taking care of our little…indiscretion, I’d’ve split up with you. It makes sense now, but back then I just felt hurt. With a degree in Women’s Studies from Vassar, pretty much the only option I had after graduation was VP of HR at a Nestle subsidiary while you saved the world one hedge fund at a time. But not long after you proposed, my senior adviser introduced me to some friends of hers, who introduced me to some friends of theirs, and, well, I could either follow your plan for us, or my plan for me.

So I went with me. The abortion and your throwing me out of your life over it was just the icing on the cake. But it launched me into my new career.

I started as an intern. Paying my dues. It sucked because I had to keep asking my parents for money to afford rent and food, but I learned a lot that first year. At Planned Parenthood you can’t claim that sexism in the workplace is keeping you from earning a living wage. I think they were monitoring me. Seeing how committed I was, how hard I’d work. After burning my bridges with you I had nothing else to do, so I threw myself into it.

—

Stay tuned for more information on Appalling Stories 2: More Appalling Tales of Social Injustice!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: appalling stories, appalling stories 2, her bodies her choice, horror, me me me, short fiction, short story

Appalling Stories: Excerpt

March 5, 2018 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

I’m not any kind of writer. I’m not John Grisham. I don’t even read except for the sports page. So if you don’t like my writing style I don’t give a shit. What I’m going to do when I’m done putting all this down is wrap the notebook in fifty layers of Saran Wrap, stuff it in a bunch of Publix bags, and lock it up in the gun safe. The safe’s supposed to be fireproof.

I don’t have to tell you that. If you’re reading this you must’ve gone to a hell of a lot of trouble to get to it. If there even is a you. My bet is no one will ever see this.

Why am I writing it, then? Something to do before I die. The TV doesn’t work anymore. Nothing does. I don’t have any kids (that I know of, hyuck hyuck) to leave anything to. No close family. A few friends, but I’m sure they’re dead now.

I’m next. I can hear them outside. They’ll find a way in and that’ll be that. You can’t shoot them. I mean, it’s impossible. So when they do get in I’ll put my Colt 1911 to my eyeball and pull the trigger.

I hope it doesn’t hurt.

(Taken from The Bitterness of Honey by David Dubrow.)

—

This story, along with twelve other hard-hitting tales of science fiction, satire, horror, and more are available in Appalling Stories: 13 Tales of Social Injustice!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: appalling stories, bitterness of honey, me me me, short fiction, short story

My Ghost Story in Issue #2 of Creators Unite Magazine

January 29, 2018 by David Dubrow 3 Comments

My story A Haunting in Pennsylvania is featured in Creators Unite #2, The Woman Power Issue!

Creators Unite is a magazine that fuses horror, art, and culture, focusing on independent voices and original content. Inside you’ll see interviews with actresses Kelli Maroney (Night of the Comet), Maria Olsen (Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief), Denise Gossett (Get the Gringo); movie reviews; original articles; a tribute to model Kreepazoid Kelly; my story A Haunting in Pennsylvania; an amazing art gallery, and a whole lot more.

Click here to read Creators Unite #2 absolutely free of charge!

I’m as surprised as you are that I’m in a publication that has anything to do with woman power, but hey, I’ll take it. Do you like ghost stories? Who doesn’t! A Haunting in Pennsylvania takes the traditional ghost story and turns it inside out in a way you’ll never forget. And the best part is, there’s pictures!

This is a quality magazine, one I’m proud to be part of. Check it out.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: creators unite, horror, me me me, short story

New Review of Beneath the Ziggurat

October 23, 2017 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

Typically I don’t link to reviews of my work any longer; I appreciate every review, but I just don’t read them anymore. However, Nev Murray, proprietor of Confessions of a Reviewer, wrote such a detailed review of Beneath the Ziggurat that I have to link to it:

I’m a sucker for horror stories set way back in our past that include references to ancient evils that guard certain places or certain people and the oft talked about consequences of going against that evil.

That is exactly what you get in this tale. Add into the mix a little bit of eerie Lovecraftian style monsters and demons, and this story ticks all the boxes for me.

This is totally different from anything I have read from Mr Dubrow previously. His novels can be very in-depth, with huge back stories and complicated patchworks of interconnecting storylines that all merge into one for the finale.

You should definitely read the whole thing. And, once you’re done, pick up a copy of Beneath the Ziggurat. It’s inexpensive (free if you’re on Kindle Unlimited), entertaining, and includes an excerpt of my novella Dreadedin Chronicles: The Nameless City. Such a deal!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: beneath the ziggurat, confessions of a reviewer, dreadedin Chronicles, horror, lovecraft, short story

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"It began to drizzle rain and he turned on the windshield wipers; they made a great clatter like two idiots clapping in church." --Flannery O'Connor, Wise Blood

"Squop chicken? I never get enough to eat when I eat squop chicken. I told you that when we sat down. You gotta give me that. I told you when we sat down, I said frankly I said this is not my idea of a meal, squop chicken. I'm a big eater." --John O'Hara, BUtterfield 8

I saw the 1977 cartoon The Hobbit as a little boy, and it kindled a love of heroic fantasy that has never left me. Orson Bean's passing is terrible news. Rest in peace.

Obviously, these young people have been poorly served by their parents, but the honest search for practical information should be lauded, not contemned.

You shouldn't look at or use Twitter, and this story is another perfect example. There's so much that's wrong here that it would take a battalion of clergy, philosophers, and psychologists to fully map it out, let alone treat the issue.

This is the advertising copy for Ilana Glazer's stand-up comedy special The Planet Is Burning: "Ilana Glazer‘s debut standup special is trés lol, and turns out - she one funny b. Check out Ilana’s thoughts on partnership, being a successful stoner adult, Nazis, Diva Cups, and more. Hold on to your nuts cuz this hour proves how useless the patriarchy is. For Christ’s sake, The Planet Is Burning, and it’s time a short, queer, hairy New York Jew screams it in your face!" This is written to make you want to watch it.

In the midst of reading books about modern farming, the 6,000 year history of bread, and ancient grains, I found this just-published piece by farmer and scholar Victor Davis Hanson: Remembering the Farming Way.

"I then confront the decreasing power of the movement in order to demonstrate the need for increased theorizations of the reflexive capacities of institutionalized power structures to sustain oppositional education social movements." Yes. Of course.

You should definitely check out Atomickristin's sci-fi story Women in Fridges.

As it turns out, there may yet be some kind of personal cost for attempting to incite a social media mob into violence against a teenage boy you don't know, but decided to hate anyway because reasons.

One of the biggest problems with internet content is that the vast majority of sites don't pay their writers, and it shows in the lack of quality writing. It's hard to find decent writers, and harder to scrape up the cash to pay them. This piece is a shining example of the problem of free content: it's worth what you pay for.

If you're interested in understanding our current cultural insanity, the best primer available is Douglas Murray's The Madness of Crowds. Thoughtful, entertaining, and incisive.

More laws are dumb. More law enforcement is dumb. The only proper response to violence is overwhelming violence. End the assault. There's a rising anti-semitism problem in New York because Jews who act like victims are being victimized by predators. None of these attacks are random. Carry a weapon and practice deploying it under duress. Be alert and aware. I don't understand why the women Tiffany Harris attacked didn't flatten her face into the pavement, but once word gets around that the consequences of violence are grave, the violence will lessen.

When are you assholes going to understand that this stupidity doesn't work any longer? Nobody gives much of a damn if you think we're sexist because we don't want to see a movie you think we should see. It only makes us dislike you that much more, and you started out being an unlikable asshole. Find a new way to shame normal people.

The movie Terms of Endearment still holds up more than 35 years later, and if you're looking for a tearjerker, this is your jam. One element that didn't get a lot of mention is, at the end, when Flap, with a shrug, decides that his mother-in-law will become the mother of his children once Emma dies. He abandons them, and nothing is made of it. This always troubled me.

You need to read this story the next time you feel the urge to complain. And if you need a shot of admiration for another family's courage, check this out.

Progressive political activist and children's author J.K. Rowling finds herself on the wrong side of a mob she helped to create. The Woke Sandwich she's been trying to force-feed others since she earned enough f-you money doesn't taste as good as it looks when she's obliged to take a bite.

I need you to check out The Kohen Chronicles and pray for this family. Their 5-year-old son has cancer.

Currently, the movie Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker stands at 55% at Rotten Tomatoes. Don't forget that these are the same reviewers who not only adored the absolutely execrable The Last Jedi, but insisted that you were a MAGA hat-wearing incel white supremacist manbaby for not loving The Last Jedi. So either The Rise of Skywalker is an objectively bad film, or it simply wasn't woke enough to earn plaudits from our movie-reviewing moral and intellectual betters.

It's easy to hate the older pop bands like Genesis for their popularity, but they were capable of genius, and it shows in No Son of Mine.

If you want to know which identity group has more clout, read this story of the Zola ads on the Hallmark Channel.

Rest in peace, René Auberjonois. I remember you from Benson as a kid. As an adult, I remember you as Janos Audron in the Legacy of Kain video game series. You made every role you were in a classic.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 2:
8-year-old: I wrote the elf a note! I hope he writes back.
Me: What did you write?
8yo: I asked if he has any friends.
Me: What if he says it's none of your business?
8yo: *eyes grow dark and glittering* Then I'll...touch him.
Me: Ah. Mutually assured destruction, then.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 1: My 8-year-old got an Elf on the Shelf the other day. The book it came with tells a story in doggerel about this elf's purpose, which is to spy on the kid and report his doings to Santa Claus, who would then determine if the kid is worthy for Christmas presents this year. The book also said for the kid not to touch him, or the magic would fade, and for the family to give the elf a name. I wanted to name him Stasi. I was outvoted.

Actor Billy Dee Williams calls himself a man or a woman, depending on whim; his character Lando Calrissian is "pansexual," and his writer implies that he'd become intimate with anyone or anything, including, one presumes, a dog, a toaster, or a baby. J.J. Abrams is very concerned about LGBTQ representation in the Star Wars universe. This is Hollywood. This is Star Wars. This is what's important to the people in charge of your cinematic entertainment. Are you not entertained?

The funniest thing on the internet today is the number of people angry over an exercise bike commercial. Public outrage is always funny. Always.

One of the biggest mistakes the United States has ever made since WWII was recruiting for clandestine and federal law enforcement organizations at Ivy League schools. The best talent pools were/are available from local law enforcement and military veterans, with their maturity and, most importantly, field experience. We've been reaping the costs of these terrible decisions for decades, culminating in a hopelessly politicized, sub-competent FBI and CIA.

Watching Fauda seasons 1 and 2 again in preparation for season 3 to be broadcast, one hopes, in early 2020. Here's my back-of-the-matchbook review of season 2.

Every day I try to be grateful for what I have, even in the face of the petty frustrations and troubles that pockmark a day spent outside of one's living room, binge-watching Netflix. We live lives of ease in 21st century America, making it enormously difficult to do anything but take one's countless blessings for granted. Holidays like the just-passed Thanksgiving are helpful reminders. There's a reason why people call the attitude of a thankful heart practicing gratitude, not just feeling grateful. You have to practice it. You have to remind yourself of what you have. It's the work of a lifetime.

Held Back: A Recent Conversation.
8-year-old: Oh, and Jamie was there, too. He was in my first grade class two years ago.
Me: Wasn't he held back a year?
8yo: Yeah. It's because he kept going to the bathroom with the door open.
Me: No way!
8yo: And girls saw.
Me: That's not right. They're not going to hold a kid back a whole year over that.
8yo: Well, that's what he told me.
Me: Sounds fishy.
8yo: I believe him.
~fin~

It's right and good to push a raft of politically correct social justice policies on everything else under the sun, but when social justice invades Hollywood, that's just a bridge too far, says Terry Gilliam. Sorry, Terry: you helped make this sandwich. EAT IT.

Rob Henderson's piece on luxury beliefs will have you nodding your head over and over again...unless you subscribe to these luxury beliefs, in which case you'll get mad.

I've made the Saturday bread from Flour Water Salt Yeast so often that I've memorized the recipe. It never disappoints. Never. The same recipe works well for pizza, too.

Liberty doesn't mean the freedom to do anything you want. The true definition of liberty is the ability to choose the good. Anything less is libertinism.

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