David Dubrow

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Book Review: Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now

January 8, 2020 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

When Jaron Lanier’s book Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now popped up on my Amazon feed, I had to have it. I’ve written extensively about the dangers and problems of social media, and I no longer look at Twitter or Facebook for a host of reasons. I have my site post to them, but I don’t look at the feed. In short, I had already formed my own arguments for deleting my social media accounts, so I figured it would be interesting to read what a Silicon Valley insider thought. And it always helps to backfill one’s already-assumed point of view with arguments in favor of it. Most of us do that anyway.

As it was, Lanier’s book was, for the most part, a disappointment.

The writing style is folksy and conversational, which works fine for the subject matter. And I hadn’t considered some of the arguments Lanier put forth. However, there’s a strong political slant to the book that not only undercuts Lanier’s own arguments, but calls into question his analytical faculties in a way that makes the content questionable.

Lanier is obviously a progressive out of the Silicon Valley mold, which doesn’t disqualify him from writing any sort of book, but he refuses to accept responsibility for the progressive political slant of the social media companies he rails against. He claims, despite all evidence to the contrary, “Social media is biased, not to the Left or the Right, but downward.” The political right has always been the recipient of the vast majority of account deletions, shadowbanning, and social media deplatforming. The people who run these social media companies not only foster far-left political environments in their respective workplaces, they enforce their bizarre version of ethics on their users through Terms of Service that change wherever the political winds blow. When tweeting “Learn to code” to a left-wing journalist is a bannable offense, but calling a conservative person a Nazi is not, that’s a political issue. That’s bias.

The problem with the book is that Lanier can’t afford to admit that the left is culpable for turning social media into a disgusting sewer, because it would require him to turn the force of his analysis on himself, his cohorts, and the culture he helped shape, and who wants to dive into all that ugliness without a hazmat suit? The right shares some of the blame for the hostile social media culture we’ve developed, but when all the bannings and deplatformings go one way and not the other, it’s obvious that the people in charge enforce the rules selectively, to the detriment of social media in general.

When Lanier calls Congressperson Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), who famously claimed that the world would end in twelve years, an “optimistic young politician,” it’s a questionable claim, no matter how you feel about AOC’s politics. When he spends paragraphs boosting Black Lives Matter and attacking Trump for tweeting, it suggests that he has an axe to grind that goes way past the advice of deleting one’s social media accounts. What’s good for Lanier isn’t, perhaps, what’s good for you, particularly if you don’t share his fringe worldview.

In addition, the redundancy of some of the arguments he makes suggests that the number ten was selected for its aesthetic qualities, not because he had ten solid reasons. There’s quite a bit of argument overlap.

Reading Ten Arguments was very much like trying to eat lunch in a nice restaurant, but the waiter is overly attentive and suffers from horrible body odor. If Lanier’s progressive politics, born of unthinking Silicon Valley progressivism, don’t bother you, then you’ll appreciate the book more than I did.

Ultimately, all you need is one argument for deleting your social media accounts, and you probably know what it is already. Do you need a book to tell you what’s good for you?

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My Triumphant Return to Facebook

May 16, 2017 by David Dubrow 8 Comments

It’s never happening. Please forgive the clickbait title.

I quit Facebook a year ago, and my reasons why haven’t changed: it’s a terrible waste of time; it encourages jealousy, pettiness, and negativity; what you post there is used by Facebook to manipulate you; and Facebook’s editorial stance is entirely at odds with my values. While I do miss occasional family updates, friends’ pictures, and the pride of showing my friends what my wife and son are doing, the cons significantly outweigh the pros.

Yes, I have my website link to Facebook when I have a new blog post, but that’s me using Facebook rather than it using me. I still maintain that nobody gets rich off of Facebook ads, but even if they did, there’s no way on God’s green Earth that I’ll give my money to Facebook.

I moderate my use of Twitter with an electronic timer. My daily Twitter allotment is 20 minutes a day, though I haven’t gone past 12 minutes since I began timing myself. Sitting there, scrolling through the feed, is exactly like looking at Facebook, just with shorter posts and more hostility. Between the endless book advertisements from the same rapacious hack authors and the blistering political hot takes retweeted from a thousand bleating opinion sites, it’s digital noise. No, scratch that: it’s digital cacophony.

Oh, I still kibbitz with my Twitter buddies and enjoy seeing what they’re saying and doing. But more time spent on Twitter means less time working, reading, or being with family. We used to say that TV rots your brain. Social media rots your brain now. And it doesn’t make you feel good afterward.

I communicate with about 3 or 4 people on Google Plus, so it’s worth keeping. It has actually become my favorite social media platform. I’m in, I talk to friends, I read content, I’m out.

When I consider that few of the people I admire and want to emulate post a lot on social media, I realize that it’s a bad place to use what minutes I have on this planet to achieve my goals, whatever they may be.

My friend David Angsten, a terrific, thoughtful writer, titled his blog Be Here Now. Isn’t being here now the way to go? And doesn’t social media deny that by making us spectators in our own lives? David’s right: be here now.

It’s where I’m trying to stay. I hope you’ll join me.

We still have telephones and email addresses. We can talk and write letters and visit each other and maintain friendships the way we used to.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: facebook, me me me, social media, twitter

I Quit Facebook.

May 16, 2016 by David Dubrow 8 Comments

I quit Facebook. I did it about a week ago, but now I’m bothering to tell everyone.

My reasons for this are manifold, and any one of them is a good enough reason to leave the platform, but I’ll state them here for those interested. This has nothing to do with any individual or contretemps or drama I may or may not have been involved in. I’m not leaving in a huff or anything remotely like that. The only reason why you’re able to read this on Facebook right now is because I’ve shared it from my blog to my Facebook page. I’ll continue to do that, as you nice people who do use Facebook shouldn’t be deprived of my wit and wisdom. Ahem.GoodbyeFacebook

Informed readers know that the Facebook contractors who curate Facebook’s “Trending Topics” section have done so with an eye toward minimizing conservative news. Not because people on the right side of the ideological spectrum don’t do or say anything newsworthy, but because the leftists in charge of curating the Trending Topics loathe conservatives and seek to destroy them at every opportunity, like almost everyone in media. With that in mind, why should I spend my time, my bandwidth, my attention on a service administrated by people who hate me and anyone who shares my outlook? Why should I participate in their social experiments, post my family pictures for them to look at (and potentially use in prurient fashion; I put nothing past these vermin)?

Everyone likes to complain about politically-dominated organizations like Hollywood, social media companies, and news outlets, but few actually do anything about it. This is my way of doing something about it: I’m opting out. I’m under no illusions that this little gesture will elicit even the slightest change, but I’m hoping that some of you will think about these issues and join me. If you’re a conservative, Facebook doesn’t want you and actively wishes you ill. Is this a place where you should spend your time?

Yes, I know I’m sneaking a toe in the door by having my blog link my individual posts to Facebook, but as a writer I’ve been told that I need to have a social media presence. So I’m using Facebook in this minimal fashion without letting it use me.

The other reason why I left Facebook is because it promotes bitchiness, backbiting, and passive-aggressive snark, none of which are the least bit healthy for even the strongest psyche. It’s possible, even likely, that all social media is conducive to this kind of negativity, but Facebook’s the big dog, so they get the most attention. What people Like, what they don’t Like, what they talk about online, what they ignore: paying attention to that, to the facade of minutiae masquerading as day-to-day life, drains energy from positive pursuits. It’s also a massive time-sink, and you’d be amazed at how much time you find in the day to do good things when you’re not spectating other people’s facades.

I already miss the many cyber-friends I’ve met on Facebook. I very much enjoyed looking at your family photos, reading your posts, laughing at your memes, watching your cat videos, and mindlessly Liking (some of) your book links. And I know how tenuous, how ephemeral these electronic friendships are; for many of you, this will be the last time we communicate. That’s a shame, but to quote the great Northeastern philosopher DB, “It is what it is.”

Before long I’ll set up an account on some photo-sharing service and send the link to those friends and family members who would want to see pictures of my wife and son. I’m very proud of both, as you know, and incredibly lucky to have them. The rest of my updates, both personal and professional, will be posted here at http://www.davedauthor.com/wp/blog.

You can, of course, always contact me via email. I use Gmail, and my handle is davedauthor.

I hope to hear from you.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: facebook, me me me, social media

The Five People You Meet on Facebook

March 23, 2016 by David Dubrow 1 Comment

Ah, social media. To call it a mixed bag is like calling the Rocky Mountains a group of hills. The inconsistent feedback keeps us coming back while thefacebooktoilet disappointment pushes us away. It satisfies our need for attention the way Cheetos satiate hunger, and is about as nourishing. At times it’s an overflowing, unflushed toilet, and at other times it reconnects old friends across time zones and continents. For every new friend you make, you turn off someone else. There are typically good reasons why people grow apart and lose contact, but social media throws us back together whether we like it or not.

Facebook, the big dog, continues to be a force in our lives, particularly in what we show to the world. Very, very little gets on Facebook by accident. What you post online is hardly an accurate reflection of your true self, but rather a funhouse mirror, distorting not just your own self-image, but what others see of you. Still, Facebook doesn’t create content: you do. With that in mind, let’s take a look at the five people you meet on Facebook.

  1. The Seller: He works for Herbalife. State Farm. Tupperware. Buckeye Jim’s Tractor and Feed. And you know it because he uses Facebook to tell you all about it to the exclusion of everything else. If Herbalife has a sale on Macrobiotic Fish Oil tablets (200 mg, 100 count), you’ll know it. The worst Sellers, however, the people who really get under your skin, are the ones I know best: book authors. You’re nothing but a potential sale to the Seller author: that’s why he friended you in the first place. You Like his stuff but he never Likes yours. The only posts he Likes are those written by popular authors because, let’s face it, he’s a suck-up. His wall is non-stop sales pitches. The universe of social media is out there to make him money. Never mind that it doesn’t work: he’ll make it work or die trying.
  2. The Memeing Mynah: She lives only to Share political/ideological memes, articles, cartoons, and essays written by others. At least twenty a day, obscuring your news feed into a fog of bumper sticker slogans and headlines: PROTESTERS SPOILED A TRUMP RALLY BUT YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT, Tweets from God, Lizzy the Lezzy posts, Richard Dawkins destroying Creationists in The Guardian. Never any original content. A profile photo reflecting the current political climate: a Gadsden flag or a grinning Bernie Sanders close-up, depending on the person. Never anything else. Perhaps she might Like your approving comment, but she says nothing herself: she just links and links and links. You imagine that talking to her in person would be like listening to a 300 baud modem screech endlessly into your ear.
  3. The Sad Sack: He makes Eeyore look like Sammy Davis Jr. performing The Candy Man. Everything sucks. Facebook is merely an outlet for his endless cavalcade of complaints, particularly about work. Everyone else is stupid and he has to deal with stupid people all day long and it’s a total drag. No aspect of life fails to disappoint him. He makes you tired just by knowing he exists, but he’s your cousin or co-worker or shared a lab with you in high school so you’re obligated to remain friends with him. He wears his heart on his sleeve, but it’s always broken.
  4. The Drama Empress: When she’s not vaguebooking she’s uttering threats of revenge on unnamed haters. A good burger becomes the best dinner ever, a surly salesperson becomes the Judge of All Her Life’s Choices. Her highs reach the troposphere, her lows the Mariana Trench, and you hear about every single one of them. The transitory, prosaic moments of daily life that better-adjusted adults automatically file away as unimportant get magnified by the Drama Empress to apocalyptic proportions. A Drama Empress gathers enemies like flies on the foist of dogs by dragging innocent people into non-events in one post, and in another post wonders why people don’t like her. She’s very nice, you know. Some people are just jealous. (Men can be Drama Empresses, too, and often are.)
  5. You: And then there’s you. You don’t do these things, do you? Well, except when you do. I’ve mentioned this before, but your perception of others doesn’t make you invisible. You see them and they see you. Maybe you’re the Drama Empress. The Seller. The Sad Sack. Or, or, or…maybe not. Depends on who you talk to. Or who talks about you. You’re not that negative, are you? And you only post work stuff when something new comes out. So it’s okay, right?

Your best bet is to spend as little time on Facebook as you can get away with. Don’t you just feel better when you don’t need it?

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: facebook, me me me, social media

"It began to drizzle rain and he turned on the windshield wipers; they made a great clatter like two idiots clapping in church." --Flannery O'Connor, Wise Blood

"Squop chicken? I never get enough to eat when I eat squop chicken. I told you that when we sat down. You gotta give me that. I told you when we sat down, I said frankly I said this is not my idea of a meal, squop chicken. I'm a big eater." --John O'Hara, BUtterfield 8

I saw the 1977 cartoon The Hobbit as a little boy, and it kindled a love of heroic fantasy that has never left me. Orson Bean's passing is terrible news. Rest in peace.

Obviously, these young people have been poorly served by their parents, but the honest search for practical information should be lauded, not contemned.

You shouldn't look at or use Twitter, and this story is another perfect example. There's so much that's wrong here that it would take a battalion of clergy, philosophers, and psychologists to fully map it out, let alone treat the issue.

This is the advertising copy for Ilana Glazer's stand-up comedy special The Planet Is Burning: "Ilana Glazer‘s debut standup special is trés lol, and turns out - she one funny b. Check out Ilana’s thoughts on partnership, being a successful stoner adult, Nazis, Diva Cups, and more. Hold on to your nuts cuz this hour proves how useless the patriarchy is. For Christ’s sake, The Planet Is Burning, and it’s time a short, queer, hairy New York Jew screams it in your face!" This is written to make you want to watch it.

In the midst of reading books about modern farming, the 6,000 year history of bread, and ancient grains, I found this just-published piece by farmer and scholar Victor Davis Hanson: Remembering the Farming Way.

"I then confront the decreasing power of the movement in order to demonstrate the need for increased theorizations of the reflexive capacities of institutionalized power structures to sustain oppositional education social movements." Yes. Of course.

You should definitely check out Atomickristin's sci-fi story Women in Fridges.

As it turns out, there may yet be some kind of personal cost for attempting to incite a social media mob into violence against a teenage boy you don't know, but decided to hate anyway because reasons.

One of the biggest problems with internet content is that the vast majority of sites don't pay their writers, and it shows in the lack of quality writing. It's hard to find decent writers, and harder to scrape up the cash to pay them. This piece is a shining example of the problem of free content: it's worth what you pay for.

If you're interested in understanding our current cultural insanity, the best primer available is Douglas Murray's The Madness of Crowds. Thoughtful, entertaining, and incisive.

More laws are dumb. More law enforcement is dumb. The only proper response to violence is overwhelming violence. End the assault. There's a rising anti-semitism problem in New York because Jews who act like victims are being victimized by predators. None of these attacks are random. Carry a weapon and practice deploying it under duress. Be alert and aware. I don't understand why the women Tiffany Harris attacked didn't flatten her face into the pavement, but once word gets around that the consequences of violence are grave, the violence will lessen.

When are you assholes going to understand that this stupidity doesn't work any longer? Nobody gives much of a damn if you think we're sexist because we don't want to see a movie you think we should see. It only makes us dislike you that much more, and you started out being an unlikable asshole. Find a new way to shame normal people.

The movie Terms of Endearment still holds up more than 35 years later, and if you're looking for a tearjerker, this is your jam. One element that didn't get a lot of mention is, at the end, when Flap, with a shrug, decides that his mother-in-law will become the mother of his children once Emma dies. He abandons them, and nothing is made of it. This always troubled me.

You need to read this story the next time you feel the urge to complain. And if you need a shot of admiration for another family's courage, check this out.

Progressive political activist and children's author J.K. Rowling finds herself on the wrong side of a mob she helped to create. The Woke Sandwich she's been trying to force-feed others since she earned enough f-you money doesn't taste as good as it looks when she's obliged to take a bite.

I need you to check out The Kohen Chronicles and pray for this family. Their 5-year-old son has cancer.

Currently, the movie Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker stands at 55% at Rotten Tomatoes. Don't forget that these are the same reviewers who not only adored the absolutely execrable The Last Jedi, but insisted that you were a MAGA hat-wearing incel white supremacist manbaby for not loving The Last Jedi. So either The Rise of Skywalker is an objectively bad film, or it simply wasn't woke enough to earn plaudits from our movie-reviewing moral and intellectual betters.

It's easy to hate the older pop bands like Genesis for their popularity, but they were capable of genius, and it shows in No Son of Mine.

If you want to know which identity group has more clout, read this story of the Zola ads on the Hallmark Channel.

Rest in peace, René Auberjonois. I remember you from Benson as a kid. As an adult, I remember you as Janos Audron in the Legacy of Kain video game series. You made every role you were in a classic.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 2:
8-year-old: I wrote the elf a note! I hope he writes back.
Me: What did you write?
8yo: I asked if he has any friends.
Me: What if he says it's none of your business?
8yo: *eyes grow dark and glittering* Then I'll...touch him.
Me: Ah. Mutually assured destruction, then.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 1: My 8-year-old got an Elf on the Shelf the other day. The book it came with tells a story in doggerel about this elf's purpose, which is to spy on the kid and report his doings to Santa Claus, who would then determine if the kid is worthy for Christmas presents this year. The book also said for the kid not to touch him, or the magic would fade, and for the family to give the elf a name. I wanted to name him Stasi. I was outvoted.

Actor Billy Dee Williams calls himself a man or a woman, depending on whim; his character Lando Calrissian is "pansexual," and his writer implies that he'd become intimate with anyone or anything, including, one presumes, a dog, a toaster, or a baby. J.J. Abrams is very concerned about LGBTQ representation in the Star Wars universe. This is Hollywood. This is Star Wars. This is what's important to the people in charge of your cinematic entertainment. Are you not entertained?

The funniest thing on the internet today is the number of people angry over an exercise bike commercial. Public outrage is always funny. Always.

One of the biggest mistakes the United States has ever made since WWII was recruiting for clandestine and federal law enforcement organizations at Ivy League schools. The best talent pools were/are available from local law enforcement and military veterans, with their maturity and, most importantly, field experience. We've been reaping the costs of these terrible decisions for decades, culminating in a hopelessly politicized, sub-competent FBI and CIA.

Watching Fauda seasons 1 and 2 again in preparation for season 3 to be broadcast, one hopes, in early 2020. Here's my back-of-the-matchbook review of season 2.

Every day I try to be grateful for what I have, even in the face of the petty frustrations and troubles that pockmark a day spent outside of one's living room, binge-watching Netflix. We live lives of ease in 21st century America, making it enormously difficult to do anything but take one's countless blessings for granted. Holidays like the just-passed Thanksgiving are helpful reminders. There's a reason why people call the attitude of a thankful heart practicing gratitude, not just feeling grateful. You have to practice it. You have to remind yourself of what you have. It's the work of a lifetime.

Held Back: A Recent Conversation.
8-year-old: Oh, and Jamie was there, too. He was in my first grade class two years ago.
Me: Wasn't he held back a year?
8yo: Yeah. It's because he kept going to the bathroom with the door open.
Me: No way!
8yo: And girls saw.
Me: That's not right. They're not going to hold a kid back a whole year over that.
8yo: Well, that's what he told me.
Me: Sounds fishy.
8yo: I believe him.
~fin~

It's right and good to push a raft of politically correct social justice policies on everything else under the sun, but when social justice invades Hollywood, that's just a bridge too far, says Terry Gilliam. Sorry, Terry: you helped make this sandwich. EAT IT.

Rob Henderson's piece on luxury beliefs will have you nodding your head over and over again...unless you subscribe to these luxury beliefs, in which case you'll get mad.

I've made the Saturday bread from Flour Water Salt Yeast so often that I've memorized the recipe. It never disappoints. Never. The same recipe works well for pizza, too.

Liberty doesn't mean the freedom to do anything you want. The true definition of liberty is the ability to choose the good. Anything less is libertinism.

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