David Dubrow

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Bits and Pieces 1/26/2018

January 26, 2018 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

I’ve (hopefully) got something really good coming next week, but for today you’ve got some bits and pieces. Normally I’m more on the ball with my posting schedule, but the flu season this year has hit Chez Dubrow like a sledgehammer filled with snot to the sinuses, so we’re all in recovery mode.

—

On the heels of the Tolkien/Lewis book I read not long ago, I finished Alister McGrath’s C.S. Lewis – A Life: Eccentric Genius, Reluctant Prophet. This biography focuses on Lewis’s fiction, Christian apologetic writings, literary criticism, and his other scholarly works as a way of helping us understand him. Despite that, it’s not a dry account by any means. It’s a loving but warts-and-all portrayal, showing us a brilliant man who, like all of us, had flaws that he tried to overcome, with varying degrees of success. There’s a bit of an overemphasis on date placement, with much of one chapter devoted to proving that Lewis’s stated year of conversion from atheism to Christianity is incorrect, but it doesn’t muddle the content too terribly. There’s so much I didn’t know about Lewis that I do now, including his friendship with J.R.R. Tolkien (and how it fell apart), his WWII radio addresses, his unusual relationship with Mrs. Moore, and his employment at both Oxford and Cambridge, among others. Altogether an amazing book. I’ve said many times that the Narnia novels were the first books I read as a child, and I can’t help but thank Lewis as the writer who connected me with a universe of true wonder and sparked a love of fantasy that I’ll always possess.

—

We need to have a talk about coffee. Well, not coffee so much as coffee culture. And not even coffee culture per se, but a certain aspect of it that I find inexplicable. I’m rather headache-prone, so I avoid all forms of caffeine as much as I can, but I do enjoy decaffeinated coffee on the weekends. (Yes, I know decaf has some caffeine in it, but not anywhere near as much as high-test.) And I’m a morning person! I know, I know. It’s a curse. Other people drink regular coffee, and I don’t care. I also don’t care that plenty of people need that coffee to get up in the morning. I do my thing, you do your thing, and we can all get along.

What I don’t understand is this bizarre enjoyment people take in explaining that they’re going to be assholes until they’ve had their cup of joe. We’ve all seen the memes: Don’t Speak to Me Until I’ve Had My First Cup. I Drink Coffee for Your Protection. Bring Me the Coffee and Back Away Slowly. Etc, etc. You need coffee. I get it. I don’t get the cheerful advertisement that your body is in such a state that you’re unable to function as a mature, well-adjusted adult until you’ve had a morning stimulant. You don’t need to be ashamed, but it’s not something to be proud of, either. Take a bennie like normal people.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: book review, coffee, cs lewis

Book Review: Wrestle Maniacs

January 9, 2018 by David Dubrow 2 Comments

More a treat for horror/dark crime fans than true devotees of professional wrestling, Wrestle Maniacs, unlike the sport it’s based upon, pulls no punches in its all-out brutality. Funny, disgusting, and over the top, when it hits it mirrors its subject matter in a way few short story anthologies can hope to emulate, and when it misses you’re left with the sweaty, sticky spectacle of a Montreal Screwjob.

The book begins with a foreword by Jeff Strand that’s blessedly brief and leads into Tom Leins’s terrific Real Americans, a hard-core tale of drugs, crime, and former wrestling professionals with names like Gringo Starr and Fingerfuck Flanagan. This story really sets the tone for the remainder of the book.

Nick Bullman, the protagonist of James Newman’s Ugly as Sin, returns in the offering A Fiend in Need, though you don’t have to have read the former to be entertained by the latter. This theme of returning characters continues with Joseph Hirsch’s Three Finger Bolo, a gut-wrenching tale of dirty, bloody fighting featuring “Bam-Bam” Abruzzi, the father of Hirsch’s Ritchie “Redrum” Abruzzi in the novel My Tired Shadow.

Fans of lucha libre aren’t left out of the wrestling spectrum with Hector Acosta’s From Parts Unknown, an arresting, bizarre tale of homecoming, and Gabino Iglesias’s revenge story El Nuevo Santo’s Last Fight. You might be forgiven if you thought that David James Keaton’s El Kabong was also a story of luchadores, but it’s not: it starts with the unforgettable line, “While I was still stumbling around trying to figure out why my pants suddenly didn’t seem to have any leg holes, police officers were pounding on my door eager to tell me my wife was found dead in a guitar case.”

Eryk Pruitt twists up the reader like a fish in a Boston Crab in his Last of the High-Flying Van Alstynes, a tale of loss, family, and mental illness. We travel back to pro wrestling’s pre-television days in Ed Kurtz’s Duluth, and Duncan P. Bradshaw’s Glassjaw, another story with a single word as a title, takes place in dialogue rather than action.

Patrick Lacey’s Kill to Be You is not only out there, but way on the other side of the galaxy. The universe, even. And you’ll definitely want to skip lunch before reading Jason Parent’s Canadian Donkey Punch. Just…just trust me on that.

The editor of the anthology, Adam Howe, has the funniest offering in the book (natch) with a Reggie Levine Clusterfuck (sic) titled Rassle Hassle. This time, Reggie finds himself in the wild and wacky world of wrestling, where his unique willingness to do almost anything to help a friend (or a casual acquaintance calling himself a friend) comes in quite handy. I only threw up once reading it, so that’s good.

You don’t have to like professional wrestling to enjoy this collection, particularly if you’re a pseudo-intellectual like me who looks down his nose at such low-brow fare. All you have to remember is the words of wrestling great Ric Flair: “Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because it’s the best thing going. Woooooo!”

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: adam howe, book review, dark crime, horror, wrestle maniacs

2017 in Review: Top Five Books

December 21, 2017 by David Dubrow 1 Comment

Despite my writing proclivities I read across genres, and not just because I occasionally intend to review what I read. Most of what I’ve read this year I haven’t reviewed. Pleasantly, this year I’ve mostly figured out the trick of being a book author and a book reviewer: it’s reviewing the stuff you like and not reviewing the stuff you don’t like. Make no promises and you’ll alienate no one. Win-win.

Here are the top five books I’ve read this year.

  • 5: Empire of Imagination: Gary Gygax and the Birth of Dungeons and Dragons by Gary Witwer: One of the most transformative moments of my younger days was joining the high school’s D&D club and playing the RPGs I’d collected since age ten. There will always be a special place in my heart for Dungeons and Dragons, and this biography of Gary Gygax, D&D’s creator, unveils so much I didn’t know about the early days of the game. It gets a bit silly in parts with the dramatizations of moments in Gygax’s life, but overall it’s a must-read for D&D fans.
  • 4: The Assyrian by Nicholas Guild: Not dissimilar to Mika Waltari’s The Egyptian and Gary Jennings’s Aztec, Guild’s two novels about the life and times of Tiglath Ashur are riveting reading. Published in 1987, they’re as relevant today as when they were written, focusing on universal themes and unforgettable characters.
  • 3: My Tired Shadow by Joseph Hirsch: What can I say about this book that I haven’t already said in my review? The rise and fall and further descent of Ritchie “Redrum” Abruzzi is a classic story, well told. Full of brutal ugliness and intense pathos, it’s the kind of book you don’t see coming, like a shovel hook to the liver.
  • 2: Night of the Furies by David Angsten: The sequel to Angsten’s amazing Dark Gold, it continues the adventures of Jack Duran, who is once again plunged into terrifying adventures by his scholarly but irresponsible brother Dan. This time the action moves to the Greek isles, where the old gods are still in charge. Once I got to the last third, the titular Night, I could not put the book down. Fast-reading and mind-ripping, it rekindled that sense of Hellenic magic and danger I remember from Mary Renault’s The King Must Die.
  • 1: Tough Guys by Adrian Cole: I wasn’t half-finished reading Tough Guys when I knew that it was likely going to be my favorite book of the year. In every story in the collection the writing is sharp, the plotting is tight, and every scene builds on the next, tightening the nerves until the conclusion. Characters like Oil-Gun Eddy and Razorjack echo in the imagination long after the book’s done. I can only compare Cole’s work to writers like Robert E. Howard and Michael Moorcock with the highest respect and admiration. If you read nothing else this or any other year, read Tough Guys. I can’t believe Cole isn’t a household name in every fantasy/horror fan’s lexicon.

Only one horror book in the favorites pack this year, though it was the top one. What surprises does 2018 have in store?

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: book review, fantasy, gary gygax, historical fiction, horror, my tired shadow, night of the furies, the assyrian, thriller, Top 5, tough guys

My Tired Shadow Is Live!

December 6, 2017 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

In late August, I reviewed an advance copy of Joseph Hirsch’s novel My Tired Shadow right here:

There’s little to like about Ritchie “Redrum” Abruzzi, the protagonist of Joseph Hirsch’s My Tired Shadow. A former pro boxer, Ritchie’s also a bully, a thief, and a shit who makes his money by doing the only thing he’s half-way good at: beating people to a bloody smear with his fists. So no, I don’t like him at all.

But damn it, I do love him. How can I not? He’s me. Or, rather, he’s the part of me who yearns for greatness but gets in his own way every time. He’s smart enough to know what he’s capable of, but not strong enough to overcome his own weaknesses. His needs. His anger. Forged in the blood and sweat and spit of the boxing ring, Ritchie’s both the gold and the dross, and that’s what makes him such an unforgettable figure in a fast-reading novel that’ll leave you gasping like a fighter who’s just taken a shot to the liver.

I’m pleased to announce that My Tired Shadow is available right now on Amazon! You like good books, don’t you? So what’re you waiting for? Go get your copy!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: book review, boxing, joseph hirsch, my tired shadow

Book Review: Private Offerings

November 2, 2017 by David Dubrow 7 Comments

Private Offerings by Ann Bridges takes the reader to several worlds: the rarefied air of Silicon Valley, where developers do battle using software bugs as weapons; the halls of power in communist China, where agrarian dreams struggle against the need for technological advancement; and the human heart, where love and responsibility and regret combine into a potent cocktail of conflict.

Much of the action focuses on high-level financial dealings, jockeying for political gain, and media manipulation, set within the context of every software company’s biggest leap forward, the dreaded IPO. Hints of sex are sprinkled throughout, featuring provocatively-dressed wannabe execs using their feminine wiles to manipulate both clueless and not-so-clueless coders, with varying results. If you’re looking for violence, you won’t find much here: the wheeling and dealing provide the excitement, not unlike James Clavelle’s 1981 novel Noble House.

Without spoiling the novel, one of the most interesting aspects was how much of the conflict hinged on a single press release, showing the reader how one message, properly crafted and produced at just the right time, can make a world’s worth of difference.

Overall, it’s an enjoyable read, something different. If you’re familiar with business fiction you’ll no doubt find a lot in Private Offerings to entertain. If this is your first foray into the genre, then dive on in, the water’s fine. Just watch out for the commies and femmes fatale.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: ann bridges, book review, business fiction, private offerings

Book Review: Red Room Issue #1

October 19, 2017 by David Dubrow Leave a Comment

Comet Press’s latest venture, issue #1 of the magazine Red Room, is very much like a cocktail party: you meet a number of interesting people, some of whom you might’ve heard of before; you eat a few hors d’oeuvres, some of which you like more than others; and you go home after a couple hours, hoping you get invited again. Despite the title and description, Red Room isn’t terribly heavy or challenging, and yet it’s still a lot of fun.

The horror stories range from the mildly amusing to the thought-provoking. Nick Manzolillo’s Phantom Video Stream makes it to the latter category, though it doesn’t go quite as far as one would like in a magazine of “extreme horror.” Are You Crazy? by Tim Waggoner uses the 2nd-person present perspective to bring the scares, which is a bit gimmicky, but works until it doesn’t. Larry Hinkle’s Meat Cute is a flash fiction piece that you might find funny. Josh Scott Wilson’s Sick Jokes lives up to its title and more, particularly if you’ve got a hard-on for the wealthy.

Those of you who believe that there are more than two genders, as well as anyone who views The Handmaid’s Tale as a cautionary tale of America’s terrible slide into a repressive, misogynistic theocracy, will appreciate Randy Chandler’s interview with Meg Elison, who has a story in Red Room titled The Middle Child.

For dark crime fans, there’s Tom Barlow’s disturbing, hilarious Selfie, which is arguably the best story in the magazine. David James Keaton’s The Flowery feels like a long wind-up to a slow pitch. Megan’s Law by Jack Ketchum is the story that stays with you long after you put the magazine down to get some fresh air.

The interview with Gil Valle, the so-called Cannibal Cop, is a disquieting piece that tells a tale of injustice and biased journalism; if you’re not a little bit upset after reading it, there’s probably something wrong with you. Of course, if you’re reading Red Room, let alone reviews of Red Room, you’re likely a little bit off anyway. There’s also an excerpt of Valle’s first novel, A Gathering of Evil.

Other non-fiction pieces include Duane Bradley’s article To Deprave & Corrupt, which one-sidedly describes the arrival of extreme horror in VHS form to England in the 1980’s, and efforts to suppress it. Ben Arzate reviews Ken Greenhall’s 1977 novel Hell Hound, which put the book on my must-read list right there and then. For movie reviews, Patrick King takes a closer look at the independent horror film A Dark Song (yup, gonna have to see that one). Barfly Bob’s Highballs and Lowballs describes drinks that you’d have to be nuts to want to be in the same bar with, let alone pour down your gullet. Brian J. McCarthy, who I assume is being paid by the comma, takes a satirical trip to Comet Press’s nonexistent west coast office in The Rogue Report, with bizarre results.

Across the board, Red Room is a fine piece of work, a welcome addition to the horror/dark crime genre. I doubt it’s a coincidence that the bound fellow on the cover resembles Comet’s Randy Chandler, and if it is him, I pray they let him down for issue #2.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: book review, Comet Press, horror, magazine, randy chandler, red room

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"It began to drizzle rain and he turned on the windshield wipers; they made a great clatter like two idiots clapping in church." --Flannery O'Connor, Wise Blood

"Squop chicken? I never get enough to eat when I eat squop chicken. I told you that when we sat down. You gotta give me that. I told you when we sat down, I said frankly I said this is not my idea of a meal, squop chicken. I'm a big eater." --John O'Hara, BUtterfield 8

I saw the 1977 cartoon The Hobbit as a little boy, and it kindled a love of heroic fantasy that has never left me. Orson Bean's passing is terrible news. Rest in peace.

Obviously, these young people have been poorly served by their parents, but the honest search for practical information should be lauded, not contemned.

You shouldn't look at or use Twitter, and this story is another perfect example. There's so much that's wrong here that it would take a battalion of clergy, philosophers, and psychologists to fully map it out, let alone treat the issue.

This is the advertising copy for Ilana Glazer's stand-up comedy special The Planet Is Burning: "Ilana Glazer‘s debut standup special is trés lol, and turns out - she one funny b. Check out Ilana’s thoughts on partnership, being a successful stoner adult, Nazis, Diva Cups, and more. Hold on to your nuts cuz this hour proves how useless the patriarchy is. For Christ’s sake, The Planet Is Burning, and it’s time a short, queer, hairy New York Jew screams it in your face!" This is written to make you want to watch it.

In the midst of reading books about modern farming, the 6,000 year history of bread, and ancient grains, I found this just-published piece by farmer and scholar Victor Davis Hanson: Remembering the Farming Way.

"I then confront the decreasing power of the movement in order to demonstrate the need for increased theorizations of the reflexive capacities of institutionalized power structures to sustain oppositional education social movements." Yes. Of course.

You should definitely check out Atomickristin's sci-fi story Women in Fridges.

As it turns out, there may yet be some kind of personal cost for attempting to incite a social media mob into violence against a teenage boy you don't know, but decided to hate anyway because reasons.

One of the biggest problems with internet content is that the vast majority of sites don't pay their writers, and it shows in the lack of quality writing. It's hard to find decent writers, and harder to scrape up the cash to pay them. This piece is a shining example of the problem of free content: it's worth what you pay for.

If you're interested in understanding our current cultural insanity, the best primer available is Douglas Murray's The Madness of Crowds. Thoughtful, entertaining, and incisive.

More laws are dumb. More law enforcement is dumb. The only proper response to violence is overwhelming violence. End the assault. There's a rising anti-semitism problem in New York because Jews who act like victims are being victimized by predators. None of these attacks are random. Carry a weapon and practice deploying it under duress. Be alert and aware. I don't understand why the women Tiffany Harris attacked didn't flatten her face into the pavement, but once word gets around that the consequences of violence are grave, the violence will lessen.

When are you assholes going to understand that this stupidity doesn't work any longer? Nobody gives much of a damn if you think we're sexist because we don't want to see a movie you think we should see. It only makes us dislike you that much more, and you started out being an unlikable asshole. Find a new way to shame normal people.

The movie Terms of Endearment still holds up more than 35 years later, and if you're looking for a tearjerker, this is your jam. One element that didn't get a lot of mention is, at the end, when Flap, with a shrug, decides that his mother-in-law will become the mother of his children once Emma dies. He abandons them, and nothing is made of it. This always troubled me.

You need to read this story the next time you feel the urge to complain. And if you need a shot of admiration for another family's courage, check this out.

Progressive political activist and children's author J.K. Rowling finds herself on the wrong side of a mob she helped to create. The Woke Sandwich she's been trying to force-feed others since she earned enough f-you money doesn't taste as good as it looks when she's obliged to take a bite.

I need you to check out The Kohen Chronicles and pray for this family. Their 5-year-old son has cancer.

Currently, the movie Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker stands at 55% at Rotten Tomatoes. Don't forget that these are the same reviewers who not only adored the absolutely execrable The Last Jedi, but insisted that you were a MAGA hat-wearing incel white supremacist manbaby for not loving The Last Jedi. So either The Rise of Skywalker is an objectively bad film, or it simply wasn't woke enough to earn plaudits from our movie-reviewing moral and intellectual betters.

It's easy to hate the older pop bands like Genesis for their popularity, but they were capable of genius, and it shows in No Son of Mine.

If you want to know which identity group has more clout, read this story of the Zola ads on the Hallmark Channel.

Rest in peace, René Auberjonois. I remember you from Benson as a kid. As an adult, I remember you as Janos Audron in the Legacy of Kain video game series. You made every role you were in a classic.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 2:
8-year-old: I wrote the elf a note! I hope he writes back.
Me: What did you write?
8yo: I asked if he has any friends.
Me: What if he says it's none of your business?
8yo: *eyes grow dark and glittering* Then I'll...touch him.
Me: Ah. Mutually assured destruction, then.

Elf on a Shelf Follies, Part 1: My 8-year-old got an Elf on the Shelf the other day. The book it came with tells a story in doggerel about this elf's purpose, which is to spy on the kid and report his doings to Santa Claus, who would then determine if the kid is worthy for Christmas presents this year. The book also said for the kid not to touch him, or the magic would fade, and for the family to give the elf a name. I wanted to name him Stasi. I was outvoted.

Actor Billy Dee Williams calls himself a man or a woman, depending on whim; his character Lando Calrissian is "pansexual," and his writer implies that he'd become intimate with anyone or anything, including, one presumes, a dog, a toaster, or a baby. J.J. Abrams is very concerned about LGBTQ representation in the Star Wars universe. This is Hollywood. This is Star Wars. This is what's important to the people in charge of your cinematic entertainment. Are you not entertained?

The funniest thing on the internet today is the number of people angry over an exercise bike commercial. Public outrage is always funny. Always.

One of the biggest mistakes the United States has ever made since WWII was recruiting for clandestine and federal law enforcement organizations at Ivy League schools. The best talent pools were/are available from local law enforcement and military veterans, with their maturity and, most importantly, field experience. We've been reaping the costs of these terrible decisions for decades, culminating in a hopelessly politicized, sub-competent FBI and CIA.

Watching Fauda seasons 1 and 2 again in preparation for season 3 to be broadcast, one hopes, in early 2020. Here's my back-of-the-matchbook review of season 2.

Every day I try to be grateful for what I have, even in the face of the petty frustrations and troubles that pockmark a day spent outside of one's living room, binge-watching Netflix. We live lives of ease in 21st century America, making it enormously difficult to do anything but take one's countless blessings for granted. Holidays like the just-passed Thanksgiving are helpful reminders. There's a reason why people call the attitude of a thankful heart practicing gratitude, not just feeling grateful. You have to practice it. You have to remind yourself of what you have. It's the work of a lifetime.

Held Back: A Recent Conversation.
8-year-old: Oh, and Jamie was there, too. He was in my first grade class two years ago.
Me: Wasn't he held back a year?
8yo: Yeah. It's because he kept going to the bathroom with the door open.
Me: No way!
8yo: And girls saw.
Me: That's not right. They're not going to hold a kid back a whole year over that.
8yo: Well, that's what he told me.
Me: Sounds fishy.
8yo: I believe him.
~fin~

It's right and good to push a raft of politically correct social justice policies on everything else under the sun, but when social justice invades Hollywood, that's just a bridge too far, says Terry Gilliam. Sorry, Terry: you helped make this sandwich. EAT IT.

Rob Henderson's piece on luxury beliefs will have you nodding your head over and over again...unless you subscribe to these luxury beliefs, in which case you'll get mad.

I've made the Saturday bread from Flour Water Salt Yeast so often that I've memorized the recipe. It never disappoints. Never. The same recipe works well for pizza, too.

Liberty doesn't mean the freedom to do anything you want. The true definition of liberty is the ability to choose the good. Anything less is libertinism.

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